The Mega-Zine Museum

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

First Seen: 2000-01-21
Last Seen: 2006-02-16
Known Letters: 64

MISS TRISTESSE What is wrong with me? What do I think I think? Thinking is a bad occupation for 'Ziners.

MANTRA I was so preoccupied with building walls to keep the world out, I've forgotten to put in any windows. Who wants to see rain anyway.

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX So you like doughnuts do ya? Well, have all the doughnuts in the world ah ha ha ha ha! The best are fresh with sugar all over them, enjoy! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Thanks.

WLW

Ahh! Can you hear them? The voices in your head? They hide in the mists of time, reside in the gaiety of laughter.

They treat me as if I'm mad. MAD I TELL YOU! But I'm perfectly normal, I just got over the robot form of rabies.

These wonderful men just gave me a very long sleeved shirt and are giving me a ride to the nut house. I love nuts. Or maybe I'm just going insane.

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

You mean you're on you

WAY HERE!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Ho ho ho! Merry February! And may the Unicorn bring death and disease. On Deathstar, on Shredder! Play nicely kids!

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Boo Hoo, sniff... I want Wild Bill Hiccup, Broken Circles etc etc to come back. Where did you go to? Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, or is it just jealousy?!!!

BURGER QUEEN LIBERTINE I HATE THIS, I HATE THIS, I HATE THIS. Do you hate this? It's not so bad!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Go on holiday to Norbex. One lick of the pepper spray and you're south of the boarder. But only Norbexians can get there, Ha ha! Don't try this at home kids!

MISS TRISTESSE Nobody cares when you're gone. Who said that?!

POLYTHENE GIRL I'm just a grouch, sitting on the couch. I'm just a WLW, sitting on the... um... doesn't anything rhyme with WLW?!!!

THE PINK GLITTERBUG

Oi! So how's it feel to be a Ziner? Coz the feeling won't last long.

Yes I know your dark secret. You are after all a Backchatter. I've seen you on it so you can't deny it. Yes. Now bug off!

Captain Fish, get your gun. You must now shoot yourself. Sorry comrade.

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex.

Ah, Revenge - Mmmm can you smell it???

SMELLS SOOOOOO GOOD - CARRY ON MEN!

NEW DEBATE

Who are fellow 'Ziners' top 3 most attractive women or men?

Mine are:

1. Dawn Marie of ECW
2. Ivory of WWF
3. Claudia Black from Farscape

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

Keep 'em coming, folks,

KEEP 'EM COMING

TRENDY CHICK 007,

You monster! Sunset Beach was one of the greatest shows of all time. Sure, the acting was a bit bad, but that was the beauty of it.

There have been some great plots. The Ben/Derek plot and the jewel thing. And come on, they had some babes. Tess for one. Mmmmmm.

As punishment, I will send my Flame-Spitting Norbexian Wolf after you.

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

And thingy who played Olivia...

BAD ACTING, BIG HAIR — FANTASTIC!

FAIRY CAKE

I love you too. And you're one of the few people to spell Norbex right. You have become very special to me.

So, just for you, here's my top three Ziners.

1. You
2. Naked Twister
3. Siosa Fox Jedi

I must go now. But my love is strong.

Bye bye my Fairy Star.

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

Fairy Cake is very special...

BUT YOU'RE A CREEP — GEDDIT?

ENOLA THE NOSEBLEED Anyone heard the new S-Club 7 song? Brilliant, isn't it? Not quite the word I would have used!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX WLW — Am I holding an axe? Am I outside your house? You're just gonna have to wait and see. Ha ha ha ha! My house is your house Mr Wolf — come in and we'll talk!

SKINNED CELEBRITY I like Broccoli. The vegetable, not the 'Ziner. I agree with WLW on the mushroom issue though. Yes! My plan to rid the world of this evil fungus gains momentum! Hahahahaha...

KARMA POLICEWOMAN,

Quit whining! You say that you never get letters printed on the 'Zine. Ha! You've had more letters printed than me!

And that concerns the Immortal Council of Norbex, who might wage war on Earth.

You get letters printed on The Void as well. Speaking of The Void, WLW, are you the editor of Void and Megazine?

Tell me, or Sarah Michelle Gellar dies!

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

Don't you think I have enough to do?

AND BUFFY'S A LOAD OF TRIPE ANYWAY

WLW,

You say 'they' only give me five pages. Who are 'they'? Are 'they' Norbexians or the powers that be?

And what about when you only get four pages? What's your excuse for that?

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

PS: Old Gloomy's one ain't he?

I've heard 'them' called many things...

BUT NEVER NORBEXIANS!

SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT,

Using Savlon instead of toothpaste is a nightmare that has never, ever happened to me. But my dad has almost done it. I think.

I, on the other hand, once drank a bottle of Dr Pepper that was filled up with vinegar. Not many people can say that. Man, that night was awful.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

A bottle? At what point, exactly,

DID YOU REALISE? WHEN IT WAS EMPTY?

SCOTTISH 'ZINERS

Man if you think you got problems, come down my way! The lads would look feeble compared to the new trendies that have formed here in Corringham, Essex.

They are called the Perfect, and the schools have given them so much power that they now rule with an iron hand.

None of them like me. Help me fellow 'Ziners!

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

You tell'em to come and see me mate...

DAVORD WILL EAT THEM FOR BREAKFAST!

'ZINERS,

This may be because I'm Norbexian, but I've discovered something really weird.

You have some breakfast cereal called Cornflakes. Well, you know how it says it wakes you up and makes you happy? Well, it has the reverse effect on me. It makes me depressed and tired.

I'm not lying — it's 100% true!

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

I'm feeling quite depressed and tired -

HAVING JUST SEEN MEL C ON GMTV

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX When happiness gets into your system, it's bound to break out on your face. Particularly if your idea of happiness is chocolate.

PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM I think I've finally worked out who WLW is: The Duke Of Edinburgh. Not nearly rude enough, or insensitive enough, to be him. Sorry.

NEGATIVE CREEP Channel 5 — ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... Channel 5 — ha ha ha ha ha ha... What on earth are you watching on Channel 5 that's so funny? It's all bad soaps and pervy films on my TV!

MORGO THE EVIL FUMIGATOR

You're right. I'm a trendy and a Backchatter. I always write to BC under the name of Anon.

I'm surrendering to you. I've been such a fool. Not!

I'm none of them, but you're all of them. And your Very Evil Crew are sad. Bring it on.

I've had enough of playing nice — now it's time to play cruel.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

Come on now boys, play nicely.

FIGHTING NEVER SOLVED ETC

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX It amazes me that the ugly, fat girls who have just called ME ugly, have the nerve! Pay no attention poppet. Skin deep etc etc.

BUTTONHOLE BETTY WLW — please print this! I've even drawn a pretty picture of all the things you like: Arsenal, cats, chocolate, Lolly, mushrooms... oops! Oops indeed missy!

PLUGHOLE FANTASY Show this letter and give two lucky 'Ziners the honour of being on the same page as me! You need a new PR man Plughole... and fast!

MORGO'S HAD HIS GO, NOW IT'S MY TURN

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

A 'Zine festival, eh? Like it!

SHOULD WE ASK DAPHNE AND CELESTE?

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...

Little Miss Bloodbath? Yes, where has this talented 'Ziner gone?

I remember — she was never on again after some 'Ziner told her that he loved her.

WLW, does she still write to the 'Zine? And, if so, why don't you print them? I want answers.

I miss seeing her rare talent. Please come back!

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

Where for art thou, Bloodbath?

NOT HEARD ANYTHING FOR AGES, WOLFIE

BROKEN BUBBLES loves Mystical Starfish! Should I buy a hat?

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX The hardest job of all is trying to look busy when you're not. Tell me — I've made a career out of it.

THE PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM Secluded Rainbow — the plural of octopus is not octopi, but octopuses. Not that I'm pedantic. You? Pedantic? Perish the thought.

ME AND TIMBER WOLF

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

I'd be worried 'bout a friend who's

SO EASILY MISTAKEN FOR LIMESCALE

MOP HEAD AND HER DAEMON WLW — you haven't been showing my letters. I have one thing to say... damn, I forgot it. Was it 'sorry WLW because you HAVE printed my letter', by any chance?

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX I've been told I need confidence. Is that something by Calvin Klein? No, but it should be. Or how about 'Freak — pour homme' — a fragrance for individuals! Yes? No?

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Hey WLW, can I have your autograph and a signed piccie? I don't show up in photos... funny that.

DEAREST WLW

Why won't you print me any more?

After all I've done for you — protecting you from the Mafia, loan sharks, getting you off that JFK murder charge and paying off all your debts.

I'll never help you again — oh, and I've changed the locks to your house.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

No, you changed the locks to number 4,

I LIVE AT NUMBER 6, YOU PLONKER!

WLW,

Do you, by any chance, own a green five-door car? I'm not sure what type of car it was.

It's just that my dad was driving me back from Lakeside on Saturday, October 7, and a car drove by. The final letters on its number plate were WLW!

So, was it your car?

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

A green 5-door car? Are you mad?

I RIDE AROUND IN A CHARIOT, MATE!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex 4 Elixir Vixen. 4 Eva and Eva?

INTERCITY HIPPY You printed my first letter on my birthday! You are soooooo on my Christmas card list. Not the one that's always left in the box, with the bell on or the candle, thank you!

MRS POD'S CURLY WIG 'Be pessimistic' — that's my motto. I'd like a new one but what are the chances of that? Not good. 'The man who can laugh in the face of disaster, has thought of someone to blame it on' — that's my favourite.

MASOCHISTIC CHICK

Here are the answers to your questions:

1. Because you have emotions.
2. I think it's to find out if WLW is a deformed monster.
3. 'Cos they're sycophants.
4. Eh?
5. No, I've met two 'Ziners.
6. But they do exist. Pan Dar Zan of Europa said so.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

OK... so how many people, like me, are

DYING TO KNOW WHAT QUESTION 4 WAS?

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE If you stick a moustache and glasses on Davord, he looks like Mr Potato Head. Oooooooo, that's fightin' talk where I come from!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Nothing can't create something but something can create nothing. So in the end, half way is nothing yet something. Okily Dokily!

EGG-SHAPED IAN I have nothing to declare but my own genius. Add to that a dash of humility and a soupcon of modesty.

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX I once put nail varnish on in science. That was interesting. Blimey — in my day, it was all test-tubes and bubbling stuff.

WEDNESDAY RAIN You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. Well, you can, but it's kinda messy.

THE WIZARD ON THE HILL (Ms) I soooooo agree with Plastic Bag Tree about Matt from Digimon. But he's a cartoon, surely? Have I missed something here?

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX I need a break. My mind's been going a mile a minute and I still ain't caught up with it! Hurry, or you'll lose it! Ha ha ha ha ha... ha... ha... OK, sorry.

PISCES If religion is society's placebo, then Placebo must be society's religion. Ooooh, you're wasted on here.

FIENDISH OBSERVATIONAL COMEDIAN I was just thinking, what if your surname was Itis and you were called Arthur? That would suck. I know. And what if... On second thoughts, no. That one's rude.

THE PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM If at first you don't succeed, blame it on someone else. Recently, for example, I failed an exam. This was clearly the fault of Plughole Fantasy. I missed my train today, which I suspect was down to him!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Well, that's the last time I use Vanish on my fur coat. Always read the label first!

MISS TRISTESSE I, too, have often wondered where A Boy Called Rita went. Joined Boyzone I think, could be wrong.

EXCUSE ME, PARSLEY POSSUM

How dare you call me a sycophant for voting WLW witty when she is.
How dare you call my friend, Negative Creep, lazy.
How dare you say those things about Mr Foetus.
How dare you even waste space on The 'Zine, you low life B*ckch*tter!

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

'Tis the season to be jolly,

TRA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!

PARSLEY POSSUM

I would like to say sorry for having a go at you. You are clearly better than me, so I got you a couple of Christmas presents.

One is lifetime membership of B*ckch*t and the other is a Westlife CD. But hey, if that stuff's too good for you, I've got some c**p.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

Hmmmm.... a distinct whiff of

SARCASM IN THE AIR, METHINKS!

'ZINERS

I would like to say Happy New Year and I hope you all got what you wanted for Christmas.

The past year on 'Zine has been fantastic and I love you all. And sorry to Parsley Possum, Pink Mafia and anyone else I have offended.

'Zine rocks!

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

Blimey — what's brought this on Wolfie?

YOU BEEN AT THE COOKING SHERRY?

'ZINERS

I don't think that Davord is sticking his tongue out at all. I know for a fact what he's REALLY doing 'cos Norbia, God of Norbex, told me.

Davord is sometimes sucking his tentacles but, sometimes, sucking red peppers.

Mystery solved.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

You don't wanna believe that Norbia —

FULL OF IT

PARSLEY POSSUM

Although I don't believe evolution ever happened, I have to make an exception for you.

You see, evolution is the only thing that can explain how you turned from an ugly, sprawling mass to an ugly git with a poor name and no brain.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

OK, I may be wrong,

BUT I'M SENSING HOSTILITY HERE

FAIRY CAKE

Ironic pyjamas? I've had weird pyjamas. They were these Lion King ones that glowed in the dark. They were well cool.

Now I wear blue pyjamas. They have to be blue.

My dream pyjamas would have wolves on. But I can't actually find any with wolves on. So for the moment they are fantasy pyjamas.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

Glow in the dark pyjamas?

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

WLW

I've just made up a well good joke. Wanna hear it? Well, you're gonna hear it anyway.

Two tropical birds were in a tree. they were in love. One turns to the other and says: "Only toucan make a kiss work".

Get it? Well, DO YOU?

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

Yes, I'm afraid I do.

ENOUGH NOW

BROKEN BUBBLES WLW — it doesn't take a rebel to sing along to Barrel Of A Gun. Just the best darn voice in rawk!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX I have enough money to last me a lifetime, as long as I don't buy anything. Not even vast quantities of chocolate? Poor baby.

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE WLW — if you woke up naked in the Spurs club shop and the only thing to wear was the kit, what would you do? There's a lot to be said for naturism.

MANKY HORRIBLE BRUSSEL SPROUT

If I had three wishes, I know what I'd wish for:

1. A weeks holiday at Megazine
2. WLW wakes up to the Arsenal team singing the 'Zine anthem, Dreaming Of Me by Depeche Mode.
3. Just to be with my girlfriend and tell her how much I love her.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

Love? LOVE? We'll have no love here...

THIS IS A LOCAL SHOP

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Cometh the hour, cometh the man (unless he cometh by train). Indeedeth.

GLITTER JUNKIE I must say how much I liked the bullet points used last Sunday — you know, the big red squares. Squares are best in red. They are, though I quite like them in blue too.

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Gutless Wonder — can I stand next to you please, so I can look talented? Woooooooooooooh! Who rattled your cage?

ENOLA THE EGG PLANT My mess is your fault! In the words of me good mate Shaggy — it wasn't me!

OMEGA Stupid people do stupid things. Smart people outsmart each other. And people who are too stupid to be stupid buy Uptown Girl.

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX WLW — I was just wondering what your cat was called? Mavis! I mean, how cool is that eh? Mavis WLW. She's the business!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over just sitting there. Too profound for a Thursday.

BLUE-HAIRED-CHUGGER Scary thought of the day — where I live, we have a place called 'Rampant Horse Lane'... need I say more? No, best leave it there!

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Dark Grey Wolf — can I borrow your brain, please, 'cos I'm building myself an idiot? Oh dear.

GLITTER JUNKIE

Aaaahhh, I remember when my first letter was printed on 'Zine, just over a year ago.

I'd just got in from school, sat down and started reading. Then I got to the first page and there it was, at the bottom! My doughnut letter! I went mental!

I never thought I would get printed. Thanks WLW!

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

My pleasure — I am here to serve...

AND REPRIMAND WHERE NECESSARY!

ETIQUETTE HIPPY

WLW kidnap me? Not a chance, mate. I am the Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex. I am immortal. I have lived for 21 billion years and WLW has lived for... well, I'm not sure. She still looks as young as the day she was genetically engineered.

Anyway, I've only been kidnapped by a handful of people and always survived. But the last time... Woah! Now THAT was close!

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

Parsley's men involved perchance?

I WOULDN'T BE AT ALL SURPRISED

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Davord was just on the toilet and it exploded — what should I do? Er... stand back!

ALF, THE UNSTOPPABLE SPROUT It takes 40 dumb animals to make a fur coat, but just one to wear it. How many possums does it take, I wonder?

SMASHED STRAWBERRY, HECTOR'S HOUSE Ratchild — at least you have friends. I only have one independent friend left. My other two pen friends stopped writing to me. Why? What did you say???

WOLFIE FOR PRIME MINISTER

If I was Prime Minister, I would make the world a better place. I'd wipe out Third World debt, ban Westlife and make WLW my right-hand 'it'.

So — vote world domination, vote Wolfie!

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

Does Mavis get to live at Downing St

WITH US? WILL WE HAVE SKY TV?

WLW

I admit that my toucan joke was bad, but Trendies found it funny. But that just shows how dumb they are.

But here's a better joke that I made up:

When's Mother's Day?
Nine months after Dad's Night!

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

We at WLW Towers loved this gag —

BUT THEN WE DON'T GET OUT MUCH

THE EVIL CUTIE Twisted Tart and 12th Lemon — I challenge you both to a fight to the death over Fred Durst! You gotta be kidding... like, why?

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Don't beat yourself up — it hurts. As does stapling your thumb. Believe me.

NXT, THA LONELY HOMOSAPIEN WLW... how many floors are there in WLW Towers? Does it have a lift? Two floors, one lift. Good job too — saves me claiming expenses for shoe leather.

DARK DRAGON OF DISPAIRE I'd like a pizza with double cheese, anchovies... what? You don't do them? OK, what about a double helping of witty retorts and lots of fun! Consider it done.

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Pain is when you slash your thumb open with flint and then get vinegar in it. So don't!

THE PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM Strange that Geri Halliwell got to No 1 when clearly that record was a No 2. And she has a new album — hallelujah!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX The late seamstress gone, but not for cotton. Oh dear, do you have a day job?

UNHOLY DARK KNIGHT All 'Ziners must try Dairy Milk chocolate with salsa dip. Believe me, it's a delicious combination. You've gotta be kidding!

QUEEN OF THE FAERIES Help! A spider has caught me and I am about to become lunch. Please, someone, step on her before she kills me. Is that Black Widow causing trouble again?

WLW

Who would you like to be trapped in a room with (besides me)?

Mmmm... PJ Harvey, Dido, Angelina Jolie — nice! Or, even better, Becky Aarons from my school. Raven black hair, pale skin. And she looks like Jamie Hepburn.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

Wait a minute — was this just a way

OF USING ME TO ASK HER OUT?

THE CEREAL KILLER As I said before, I never repeat myself... And as I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate.

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Yay! The annoying disco man's playing Depeche Mode! Yay for the annoying disco man!

VANILLA That's it! If you don't start printing my letters, then I'll travel from Manchester to London and kidnap Mavis. Except I can't drive... so... bus timetable anyone? From Manchester? To kidnap Mavis? Bit extreme, no?

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Just because you're not paranoid, don't mean they're not after you. However, I AM paranoid and they ARE after me, so... anyway...

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Does anyone ever fax their comments to 'Zine? No, we have no fax number, no fax number at all... y'hear? No fax number! S'broken!

PINK MAFIA Popstars, Soapstars, Pop Idol... I mean, how many more saddos need to be paraded before a panel of egomaniacs? I suspect there'll be more.

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX I'm having a crisis! My mum looks like Victoria Wood and my dad looks like Ned Flanders. Is it time for me to panic? If you've started to look like Dale Winton, yes.

PLUGHOLE FANTASY The sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts. And the saddest songs are those by Hear'Say. 'Tis true — I done research.

PINK MAFIA In these turbulent times, it's good to have something you can rely on... like Crunchies! I'll say.

OMEGA Evaporated milk — what's that all about? If it's evaporated, then it really shouldn't be there at all, should it? It's just crazy talk. And it's also revolting!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX The captain of the Titanic was a master of the one-liner! Ha ha ha ha ha ha... Oh dear.

PINK MAFIA Single again and looking for nice lad, own teeth, no Hear'Say CDs, who's kind to animals and his mum. Come get me! A queue is forming as we speak.

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX WLW — ain't time funny? One minute it's flying, the next, it's going really slow. I find it always drags. Same old, same old.

BUTTERFLY OF SHADOWS The words sing and Kate Winslet don't go together very well. Neither do the words act and Kate Winslet — I've seen Titanic.

UNEDUCATED SHAMPOO I served Kate Bush at work today. Are you proud of me? I certainly am. What did she buy?

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX No-one knows my true identity. Living up a mountain sure is lonely. Your letters take ages to reach us as well.

FRANK N FURTER'S BRIDE Yesterday, I was asked what my earliest memory was. I forgot it. Mine was the fire bridge being called out.

DAVE THE RAVE Comment vas-tu au college, WLW? And, more importantly, can you do the accent? That's the job of my monkey Marcel. I only talk to myself on a Thursday.

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Woo hoo! I live in the same town as one of the members of McFly... wait a minute, that's bad... Are you that girl?

JUNIOR MINISTER What better way to further avoid doing my essay by sending you this? Oh, rip out my heart with a spoon. Send me yer essay if it helps.

FLYING TURNIP My cat is called Felix and he absolutely hates that cat food. But bet he liked EastEnders' one-time barber man Felix. We all did.

INSURANCE CLAIM

... so I said "I'll huff and puff and blow your house down!"

Anyway, after a brief traumatic episode, the little swine presented me with an insurance bill for £50,000!

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

You shoulda

SNAPPED UP THE OFFER. HE HE

DARK WOLF OF NORBEX Are you 50ft tall and living in an office? Then call Claims Direct... Will I get a free pen?

THE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING PENGUIN Two of my favourite things have been united together in a wonderful marriage, Teletext and Sudoku. Can life get much better? Ah Teledoku is great.

THE SLUG OF GREAT PERIL Have you noticed lots of people have sprouted extra ears recently? I haven't seen, but I have heard. 14 times.

SLEEP

I went to bed Wednesday night and woke up Thursday morning. The game was afoot.

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

Glad to see your finally getting the

HANG OF THIS OLD LIFE LARK

A MESSAGE FOR NORMAN

I suspect I've found Mr Radcliffe on the evolutionary chart. No, he's not the human.

He's right there, between the ape and the chav.

Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex

You mean the one next to the goth

RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE AGUILERA?

WILD RAMBLINGS

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX So anyway, who'd have thought you could instantly fail your driving test by going sideways along a one way street? Driving sideways, eh? You are clever!

THE BARKING TREE I bet your head is 10 floors up from your hooves, WLW, so you still wouldn't be rid of Ten Flaws Down! Nice try though. You reckon?

BUBBLES I love toffee. Then eat it, you chomp!

BANANAS

So anyway, I said, 'Who's been sleeping in my bed?'... Oh wait it was me!

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

You know what they say Dark Grey Wolf - talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.

Back