The Mega-Zine Museum

March 25, 2001

ENOLA THE EGG PLANT My mess is your fault! In the words of me good mate Shaggy — it wasn't me!

OMEGA Stupid people do stupid things. Smart people outsmart each other. And people who are too stupid to be stupid buy Uptown Girl.

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX WLW — I was just wondering what your cat was called? Mavis! I mean, how cool is that eh? Mavis WLW. She's the business!

FAR TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS

It's said that if you give a million monkeys typewriters, eventually one will produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

With this in mind, I tried a similar thing, giving some instruments to the monkeys at my local zoo. Sadly, all I got was a talentless inane mess.

So that's how Limp Bizkit do it...

Mr Zippy (the one in the corner)

The monkeys get my money, though —

NO FRED DURST IN THEIR LINE-UP!

IF 'ZINERS WERE POKEMON/PEOPLE FROM POKEMON

Penelope The Demonic Pineapple

But I wanna be Pikachu... I wanna...

ME ME ME... I WANNA BE PIKACHU!

MEGAZINE ANTHEM

I agree with Secluded Rainbow that Song 2 by Blur should be the anthem of the 'Zine — it's got such power to it.

And, after jumping up and down to that belter of a choon, one may be in need of a serious glucose boost. I guess that one might require some sweet, fizzy, orangey liquid.

I wonder what that might be...

Lucozade Lover

Oooh, let me guess! I dunno —

SUCH BLATANT ADVERTISING

PARSLEY POSSUM

I must compliment you on your bravery. You must be a brave man to make yourself an outcast among a community, namely 'Zine, largely composed of outcasts.

To make an enemy of such a community must take courage. Either that... or you're a stupid git.

The Psychedelic Gloom

The lad may have issues, Gloomy,

BUT HE'S ENTITLED TO HIS OPINIONS

DEAR DAVORD, HANDSOME BAD LORD

Hold my big meaty hand. See loadsa blonde hair on my knuckles. See the strawberry blonde hair on my blubbery gut (bigger even than Daphne and Celestes' bellies).

I resemble a blonde Vietnamese pot-bellied pig.

Arianne, The Pig-faced Blonde

Do you work in McDonald's in Lewisham?

YOU SOUND HORRIBLY FAMILIAR

SOUTHEND

What's wrong with Southend? I shall be visiting Southend soon as a pillion rider on a very flash Harley Davidson. We intend to speed up and down the pier and make an arty film about seagulls.

They have a postbox on the longest pier. I shall post you a Southend memory which you will no doubt cherish. Oh, and the ugliest town is Birkenhead.

The Snork Mistress

But people in Southend eat whelks —

I MEAN, WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

BROCCOLI THE EVIL ONE

Hello gorgeous! WLW may have totally ignored our 'Zine wedding almost a month ago, but in my eyes we are now a married 'Zine couple!

So, we need to do what married couples do. Have a blazing argument before I storm off down the pub, leaving you to look after the screaming baby.

Fluffy The Evil One

You have a screaming baby?

ALREADY? SCIENCE GONE MAD

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