The Mega-Zine Museum
September 15—16, 2000
CAPTAIN QUIRK Judging by the hilarious, abstract and freak-oriented letters on the 'Zine, I'm guessing my last letter wasn't printed. It's my handwriting, isn't it? And the absence of chocolate!
FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE WLW — you haven't had a death threat for a while so... if you don't print this, I'll cover you in custard and set Vanessa Feltz on you! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!
BROKEN BUBBLES WLW — when is your birthday? I've got a present for you. Every day is my birthday, poppet!
THERE'S A HOLE IN MY POCKET
Have any other 'Ziners noticed how charity shops aren't really charity shops any more? Well, not towards the people buying anyway! They're now like a big corporate-competing business.
Who prices the stuff, anyway? You used to be able to go in with a fiver and get a whole new wardrobe! Not any more!
Miss Tristesse
A wardrobe for a fiver? Blimey,
AND TO THINK I JUST WENT TO IKEA!
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...
Little Miss Bloodbath? Yes, where has this talented 'Ziner gone?
I remember — she was never on again after some 'Ziner told her that he loved her.
WLW, does she still write to the 'Zine? And, if so, why don't you print them? I want answers.
I miss seeing her rare talent. Please come back!
Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex
Where for art thou, Bloodbath?
NOT HEARD ANYTHING FOR AGES, WOLFIE
DEAR OUTSIDERS
I waltzed with her yesterday in Elysian fields of gold. I had a picnic with her last night under the starry twilight sky. I sang with her, danced with her, held hands with her.
If only everything were as perfect, amazing, enjoyable and beautiful as Anna Kournikova! Especially this padded cell!
Big Bud
Does she get your deuces flowing?
GEDDIT? DEUCES! PLEASE YOURSELF
SELF-OBSESSION HONEY
The other day, a friend and I sat down to watch a video of Rainbow. Zippy had to wear a hat resembling a horse's head. He wore a lion one instead and Bungle got cross!
I haven't laughed so much since my father gave my nan a tin of pilchards for Christmas!
The Psychedelic Gloom
Bungle was a moany old git though...
ALWAYS PLAYING THE STAR!
TO ANY 'ZINERS REMOTELY INTERESTED
I have solved one of life's great mysteries and the answer is not 42. The answer is goldfish. The question? Who is Big Brother?
For years we have subjected goldfish to hours of observation, every aspect of their lives viewed. It was only a matter of time before the revolt.
Now, in a surprisingly intelligent plan for a fish, they have put our country's most irritating and downright dull people on TV, for us to view them!
The Girl Known As MOSCYLR
But fish only have a 5-second memory...
BUT FISH ONLY HAVE A 5-SECOND MEMORY
CHAPTER ONE:
The first thing I remember was the smell of the place. That unmistakable municipal, medicinal, ancient sickly scent, common to every rotting institution in the country.
Too afraid or too drowsy to open my eyes, I listened for clues. Someone was snoring, metal was clattering faintly somewhere.
I tried to scratch my foot but couldn't. Didn't think much of it at the time. It was one thing to wake up in a nut house; another to wake up in a nut house minus a leg...
PC-Stu
The 'Zine novel is under way at last...
AND, FRANKLY, I'M SCARED!
