Mega-Zine
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October 26—27, 2001

OMEGA Evaporated milk — what's that all about? If it's evaporated, then it really shouldn't be there at all, should it? It's just crazy talk. And it's also revolting!

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX The captain of the Titanic was a master of the one-liner! Ha ha ha ha ha ha... Oh dear.

PINK MAFIA Single again and looking for nice lad, own teeth, no Hear'Say CDs, who's kind to animals and his mum. Come get me! A queue is forming as we speak.

 

'ZINERS

I was reading B*ckch*t the other day. There was a letter from Sky Warrior.

B*ckchat's editor told her to kick her boyfriend to the kerb. Unfortunately, the word kerb was written as 'curb'.

I doubt that WLW would ever make a mistake like that!

Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House

Too right, matey! One fing I 'ate,

IT'S PEEPLE WOT CARN'T SPEL STUFF

 

DEAR 'ZINE

I'm just back from my cousin's 21st birthday party with his rugger mates. Funny how you find things out about him, such as him being one of Christina Aguilera's backing dancers in New Zealand.

It begs the question — what does a 6'4" 15 stone rugby player dance like? But then, looking at the ability of New Zealanders in The Tribe, he might have a career in dancing down there!

Princess Psycho

I'm more concerned that he associated

WITH LA AGUILERA IN THE FIRST PLACE

 

MY STRANGE SISTER

My sister reminds me a lot of She Who Lost The Plot because they are both madder than a hamster in a sherbert factory!

I couldn't think of ideas to mail to 'Zine, so she told me to e-mail about fishfinger sandwiches and how she prefers mayonnaise to my ketchup, which was rather bizarre. Then I asked her for another idea and she said write in about corridors.

Weirdo!

Fluffy The Evil One

I like corridors. My favourite one goes

ON AND ON AND ON... THEN GOES RIGHT

 

8 OUT OF 10 COMMUNISTS PREFER WHISKAS

Dandelion and Burdock is lovely and I'm a Times-reading upper-middle class ballerina, with no communist leanings whatsoever!

It is a nice British pop. It is brown and treacley and, like coke, it began life as a medicinal brew and can still be made at home today.

The Snorkmistress

So... there you have it —

NOW WE KNOW

 

WHY BLACK BIROS ARE GREAT

  1. They're black
  2. They're great value for money
  3. They generally don't leak all over you like fountain pens do
  4. The caps are extremely chewable
  5. They write really smoothly
  6. They write easily and legibly on human skin
  7. The caps make fantastic noises when you suck on them
  8. They're shiny.

Ms Jane Lane

It's pencils for us at WLW Towers —

WE MAKE FAR TOO MANY MISTAKES

 

CAT'S BREATH

Why does my cat's breath smell like fish when he doesn't like the stuff?

It's one of the great questions of life. No-one knows the answer. Do they?

Surprise me, WLW.

The Pedantic 1

PS: My cat is called Jack. I just thought he might like his five minutes of fame.

All cats have fishy breath — there is

NO LOGIC TO IT...

 

HEY!

I've been thinking and I think lots of 'Ziners names would be great for pubs! For example...

  • Mystical Doorknob
  • Perplexed Crow
  • Miss World
  • Yello Jello
  • Parsley Possum

All you need is "The" in front of a couple of them.

If Edmonton can have one called the Pickled Newt, then these would be great!

Coca Cola Junkie

Great idea! How 'bout The Pink Mafia?

THE DESPOTIC BANANA? THE HOODIE BOY?