The Mega-Zine Museum
July 4, 2001
DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX The late seamstress gone, but not for cotton. Oh dear, do you have a day job?
UNHOLY DARK KNIGHT All 'Ziners must try Dairy Milk chocolate with salsa dip. Believe me, it's a delicious combination. You've gotta be kidding!
QUEEN OF THE FAERIES Help! A spider has caught me and I am about to become lunch. Please, someone, step on her before she kills me. Is that Black Widow causing trouble again?
'ZINERS
Recently I've noticed lots of people using the word "phat", which apparently is a synonym for "good" or "cool".
For example, I suppose one may comment that "James Dean Bradfield is phat".
The Psychedelic Gloom
One may, but one may also end up on
THE END OF GUTLESS WONDER'S BOOT
MON SEWER
I am an opera singer. I sing opera. All these bands and pop people you go on about like Sliprope, Pup Approach and Marion Mansell could all take a leaf out of the book of the loveable person that is Lanzarote. He is truly beautiful.
Come on all you Manic Saint Peaches fans, listen to opera. Do not fear its goodness. It will not harm you.
Placebo Flamingo
Large people wailing away in Italian
SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL... NO, REALLY!
THE BIRTHPLACE OF INDUSTRY
I live in Telford, Shropshire. Named after a Scottish bloke who built roads. Abraham Darby invented cast-iron pots and stuff here.
Telford is also famous for roundabouts, dives, the council from hell and T'Pau.
Ain't I the lucky one?
Gutless Wonder
You paint such a pretty picture,
BUT I'LL STAY WHERE I AM, THANKS
QUESTIONS FOR 'ZINERS
- Is it really fun to stay at the YMCA?
- Why isn't Golden Bun funny? Not even in a tragically pathetic way?
- What words can't you print on Teletext?
- How is Holy Purple Dragon so woefully insipid?
Parsley Possum
1 Apparently 2 But he is! 3 A lot
AND 4 PUT A SMILE ON IT, MATEY!
CELEBRITY LOOKALIKES
An ex of mine said I looked a little like Louis Theroux without the glasses. This is why she is now an ex.
Nah, Louis is a top bloke, funny in his own unmasculine way.
You gotta give him 10/10 for trying, but I don't look anything like him, OK?
Odd Foz
You look like Louis Theroux? Really?
HMMMM... I KNOW SOMEONE WHO WOULD
FUTILITY
People nowadays are so rude. I made a special web page all about the trendies in my year, and it was very good (if I may say so). I even had a poll about which one was stupidest.
But did I get any thanks? No, they just beat me up for my trouble. Ungrateful buffoons.
Well, just to spite them, I've taken it down. Ha ha ha ha!
Socialist Guerrilla
You know, sometimes it's just not worth
PUTTING YOURSELF OUT, I SAY
'ZINERS
Purple is such an underrated colour. Hmmmm... what could we invent or change to purple? I know — purrrrrrrrrple custard!
If everything were purple, life would be so cool. Imagine purple bread and purple people.
I'm quite taking to this idea now.
Frank The Potato
You might be — not sure I like
THE SOUND OF PURPLE SPAGHETTI
