The Mega-Zine Museum
October 11, 2001
DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Just because you're not paranoid, don't mean they're not after you. However, I AM paranoid and they ARE after me, so... anyway...
FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Does anyone ever fax their comments to 'Zine? No, we have no fax number, no fax number at all... y'hear? No fax number! S'broken!
PINK MAFIA Popstars, Soapstars, Pop Idol... I mean, how many more saddos need to be paraded before a panel of egomaniacs? I suspect there'll be more.
TEACHERS
I have a chemistry teacher who has hair like Einstein, an English teacher who goes morris dancing, a PE teacher who changes her hair colour every other week and a French teacher who thinks that wearing purple and orange together looks good.
At least next year I'll get rid of some of them!
Hummingbird of Prey
You mean purple and orange is a no-no?
THAT'S A SHAME 'COS... ER... NOTHING
GLITTERY FLOWER
Yeah — I'd love to have lived in the '60s/'70s era too.
Great music (Beatles, T-Rex, Rolling Stones, Led Zep), great clothes (flares, tie-dye, cords) and great men (Marc Bolan, Mick Jagger).
Glitter Junkie
Have you thought seriously about this?
POWER CUTS? STRIKES? TONY BLACKBURN?
DEAR 'ZINE
My favourite pair of green socks has been at the bottom of the wash basket for five months now.
I reckon that, as they contain my DNA, over 1,000 years they could mutate into some sock/simian hybrid that could breed and take over the world.
Oh no! I've created a monster!
Mungey The Clown
Just wash the wretched things... now!
BEFORE ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!
DEAR WLW
Since everyone else is doing a factfile, here's mine:
| Name: | Captain Slog |
| Age: | Somewhere between 4 and 60 |
| Occupation: | Pirate, student, handyman |
| Appearance: | Butt-ugly |
| Likes: | Folk music, ships, internet message boards |
| Dislikes: | Tracksuits, trainers and the Navy (for not giving me a job) |
| Fave 'Ziners: | Davord, Bob Bob The Bob |
Captain Slog
A butt-ugly folk music fan who
WANTS TO BE A SAILOR... HMMM...
DEAR WORLD
When will people realise that there's more to the great Gothic culture than wearing face paint and dipping your hair in black tar!
The true meaning of this lifestyle can be felt in the atmospheric sounds of The Cure.
I'm sure WLW, with her love of lovecats, would also recommend this great band to all.
Plughole Fantasy
Her? Her? Who's been talking?
AND YES, I LOVES THE CURE, I DOES
ATTENTION
If I don't get out of my job soon, I think I'll book into the nearest institution.
I have the pleasure of dealing with a manager who actually thinks we like sweeping his office (while he's in it with his feet up, of course) for rubbish pay.
Also, why do all the quiet, sensitive girls I like and have romantic dreams about, never like me?
Slump Project
Maybe they do, but they're too
QUIET AND SENSITIVE TO TELL YOU!
PIGEONS
I recently conducted a short experiment for the purpose of art cinema on Trafalgar Square's pigeons.
I dressed in a suitably scientific lab coat, placed a Big Mac Meal on the floor and then placed a gourmet meal from the Ritz on a suitable white china plate, with cutlery next to it.
The pigeons voted with their beaks — they prefer McDonald's!
The Snorkmistress
What was the Ritz's gourmet meal?
WASN'T PIGEON PERCHANCE, WAS IT?
