The Mega-Zine Museum
October 8, 2001
GRAVY POWDER MERINGUE WLW — where has page 151 gone? Someone has stolen it! Perhaps it was you and you locked it in the tallest tower of WLW Towers, in fairytale fashion? I did, it's mine... mine forever! Bwa ha ha ha ha...
THE DUCK IN THE HAT Headaches — they're all in your mind. Are we being conned by all these drugs companies then?
CRADLE OF CHEESE My life is now so boring that it has become routine. 'Tis no better round these parts, matey.
SPIDERS
I have discovered that the rumour about spiders falling into your mouth while you're sleeping is utter pants.
I found that it is, in fact, large chunks of brie that fall into your mouth when you're sleeping, I think.
What else would explain the cheesiness in the morning? Or maybe it's just me...
Shiny Shoe
I've researched this too, and it ain't
SPIDERS OR BRIE — IT'S SPINACH
SHEFFIELD AND BARNSLEY
To whoever it was... yes! Me! I'm from Sheffield! See you in Rocky's I expect, and the Forum too! And Meadowhall (but I'm guessing that's just me).
I think Le Enfant comes from around here somewhere, like Chesterfield?
And yes, what is the point of Barnsley? It just gets in the way when I want to get to other places!
Grrr...
Abominable Ferret
Aaaaah, poor old Barnsley...
I'M STARTING TO FEEL SORRY FOR IT
HI AGAIN
The 'Ziner imitation scandal has gone international! In Ireland, the National TV company have a page called Viewpoint. The best way to describe it is B*ckch*t with an Irish accent.
Anyway, I saw Karma Policewoman's name plagiarised on it the other day. Unless it actually was her of course.
Anyway, is it me or has the whole world gone mad?
The Dark Blue Penguin of Despair
Viewpoint? Oh Lordy, as if the evil
THAT IS B*CKCH*T WASN'T ENOUGH!
HEROES
After watching Channel 4's Top Ten Losers, I have compiled a list of my heroes! 5 of them, because I'm lazy.
- Basil Fawlty
- Baldrick (don't laugh, peasant!)
- Prince from Lexx (whaddya mean, who?)
- Roddy Woomble (but he's so cute!)
- Troy Tempest. I want a Stingray!
Oh my God! No women! Damn teenage hormones, I guess...
Milton and Me
Possibly yer hormones, unless there's
SOMETHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE!
'ZINERS
I often ponder on the subject of how potato waffles get stuck to my forehead. How? Who puts them there?
Also, I think that geese are currently trying to take over the world, using only a Latvian phrase book!
Bill, the Reformed Bus Driver
Reformed? All bus drivers are evil...
AND THAT PHRASE BOOK IS ESTONIAN
WHY ORDER A DIET COKE?
The other day, I was standing in the queue at my local Burger King, when the rather generously proportioned man in front of me ordered an extra large Big King Meal, with a side serving of large onion rings.
And then, when asked what drink he would like, he asked for a Diet Coke because, he said, he was "trying to cut down".
I agree. Best stick with the Diet Coke, you don't want put on weight, do you?!
Dissimulation
But burgers are so much more appealing
THAN LETTUCE AND MINERAL WATER
ATTENTION!
I have made a new, ground-breaking discovery! There's a guy at my college, and the unfortunate fellow looks like Fred Durst.
One day, he came in wearing what appeared to be hairy goat trousers, ie: he looked like Pan, the half-man/half-goat devil.
Therefore, I can draw the conclusion that Fred Durst is, indeed, Satan.
Broccoli The Evil One
Damn! And I was convinced, after years
OF STUDY, THAT IT WAS H FROM STEPS
