Mega-Zine
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October 20—21, 2000

EGG-SHAPED IAN Black Widow — the best thing since Dave Grohl? Jeez thanks! But why am I so scared of girls when some of them are so nice to me? Dunno.

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Has anyone else noticed that Davord has no nose? Is it because Tharg smells so bad? You're not kidding — like a million rotten eggs!

POLLY I've got one thing to say so I'll make it quick — I'm not a flippin' smurf, so stop calling me that. I don't smile like one either, OK? OK love, if you say so.

 

FELLOW 'ZINERS,

OK, forget musical differences — we're all here so we must have something in common.

I suggest a 'Zine activity week, where 'Ziners are nominated to do ridiculous things ie: Dare Cheesy Foetus to try and sell a piece of cheesy to some unknown member of society... or open a cheese-tasting counter in the middle of your street.

Do you accept?

Miss Tristesse

Or get Jon The Postman to deliver

EVERY 'ZINER'S MAIL... FOR A WEEK

 

DEAREST WLW

Why won't you print me any more?

After all I've done for you — protecting you from the Mafia, loan sharks, getting you off that JFK murder charge and paying off all your debts.

I'll never help you again — oh, and I've changed the locks to your house.

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

No, you changed the locks to number 4,

I LIVE AT NUMBER 6, YOU PLONKER!

 

HEY, ALL YOU LOVELY FREAKS

It was when my maths teacher told me he was Coventry Drag Queen, 1977, that I started to worry. And it was when my physics teacher informed me of his penchant for velvet, that I began to panic.

But don't worry — the sweet stuff is here.

Transatlantic Treacle

Mmmmmmmmm... treacle! There's something

YOU DON'T SEE MUCH OF THESE DAYS

 

WLW

I saw it, the dog (Leonardo Van Gogh of Eastern Tibet) saw it, my (imaginary) friend Geraldine saw it, my wooden box (which I received for Christmas and with whom I watch Backchats saw it. We all saw your name!

However, the person that did it just wants attention. Well... you've got mine.

And since I'm a freak, and nobody likes to be seen with me, I say welcome!

President Giles and Leonardo

This is the letter they saw, from Backchat on 2000-10-16:

"I recently got the new Placebo album, Black Market Music. It's totally amazing. Brian Molko, Stefan Olsdal and Steven Hewitt have produced their best album yet. Well done, lads! Look out for the brilliant song, Haemoglobin. It is terrific!"
WLW (White Line Warrior)

What's that you say? I'm on Backchat?

OK MR/MRS FUNNYPANTS, OWN UP NOW!

 

TO KID F AND ALL 'ZINERS

I think you're wrong about Charvers. Just because they use hairspray on their fringes and wear Kappa, doesn't mean they're thick.

They resemble townies but don't look evil. You mustn't say so till you know the facts!

People from Newcastle are so cool in fact, it's Mackems that are Charvers, not Geordies.

Get your facts straight!

Flick Chick

Charvers? Mackems? I feel like I'm in

SOME BIZARRE PARALLEL UNIVERSE!

 

DOES ANYONE KNOW?

  1. Why do I have so many weaknesses?
  2. What is the meaning of life?
  3. Why do trendies think they're superior?
  4. Is it better to have something stolen or throw it away?
  5. Are we all just figments of each other's imaginations?
  6. If imaginary people DO exist, why can't I imagine them to be genuine and not superficial fakes?

Masochistic Chick

Far too many questions for me...

SUGGEST YOU TRY READER'S DIGEST!