Mega-Zine
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January 4, 2006

TEXT MANIACS

THE AMAZING BOUNCING FERRET Yes! No! Maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question? I only asked for the time.

SOCKET THE ROCKET My mother shrunk my toe socks and my toes won't fit into them. Well, you've got some new gloves.

 

THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

PET ZOMBIE I'm devising a cunning plan to steal a cardboard cut-out of Stephen Fry from WH Smith. All I need now is an accomplice to keep a lookout... Don't steal - it's against the law you know.

MECHANIC MONKEY Dalek, sorry about my award ceremony thing. Not! I love my trophy. Go on, give it to the Dalek.

DELUDED MOOSE I have just seen a giant green hamster cutting a lawn with a pair of hair scissors. Get help. Soon.

 

THE BEST OF 2005

I personally think that the best things of 2005 were:

  • Gerard Way
  • My Chemical Romance
  • Going to see My Chemical Romance at the Carling Academy and buying the MCR hoodie.

The Sheep That Lost Its Wool

A sheep in a hoodie must look a right twerp. Stay out of shopping centres.

 

THE FALL AND RISE OF DALEK

Midas, how do I recharge my batteries?

Well, I just plug myself into the mains then turn myself on when I'm ready...

I can't believe I just said that.

Think then speak... Think then speak...

Dalek

Calm down, dear. Or I'll rip your battery out.

 

MOTHS

The reason moths don't go out in the day is because they prefer light that pulsates at 50/60 HZ.

That's why my TV is full of moths.

Hope that clarifies things.

QED.

Daddypoos

Er, thanks for that. It's amazing what rubbish you can learn on Mega-zine.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year to all my lovely 'Ziners!

For those who didn't know, 2006 is the year of the Dog. The year of burying old bones, chasing your own tail and licking your own.... dog bowls.

This is after all, a family show.

Camarac

I fancy a makeover in here. I could swap Davord with a dog?
Let's swap Davord with a dog! What'cha think?

 

A TERRIFYING PREDICAMENT

When rappers meet the elderly:

BIGGIE:Yo, hoss up, Noreen.
NOREEN:Hello dear, how are you?
BIGGIE:Just chillin' and maxin', ho.
NOREEN:Oh, I am pleased.

Len Secret

Sounds like Patrick Swayze's new rap song. He's releasing one - honest!