The Mega-Zine Museum
December 12, 2005
TEXT MANIACS
EVIL ATHEIST You thief Evil Leprechaun! You stole part of my name! WLW - do something! Wicked Leprechaun? Malicious Leprechaun? I enjoy using my thesaurus.
VIGILANTE MAELSTROM Is it just me or am I alone? Davord's here. In the corner.
WORDS OF WISDOM
UNUSUAL SUSPECT Wanted: doctor-type person to help youngsters through life. Must have previously experienced angst. No Nicks (too painful) immediate start. Stop beating yourself up over this.
MECHANIC MONKEY Has anyone seen my marbles? I lost mine a long time ago.
LWL Hello my name is LWL and I'm looking for my long-lost giraffey brother. Can anyone help? Never 'eard of ya. Try the zoo.
CHRISTMAS GRUMBLES
Shoppin' - OK, so it's nearly Christmas. Great, whoopee (no, I'm definitely not excited). The crimbo lights have been up in the city for two weeks but not turned on, so what's the point?
Then we get people from all over the Midlands comin' to shop here in Nottingham. We have enough people at weekends already, thanks.
Caramel
Happy Christmas to you as well, you miserable chocolate-covered-type thing
I'VE BEEN FOUND OUT
I've been busy. After stalking KT Tunstall in October I felt ready to move on to Sir Bob, my most-worshipped hero.
I met Bob! My life is now complete.
Rainbow Warrior
I'm sure Bob's life is also fulfilled after meeting the Rainbow Warrior
ADVICE SOUGHT
Help! My girlfriend makes me wash my hands every time I pick my nose, and won't let me feed my bogies to her dog.
What should I do?
The Psychedelic Gloom
No idea. You could always feed your dog's bogies to your girlfriend?
PASS THE PARCEL
For the record I actually did the pass the parcel suggestion from my previous message two years ago. I took just mine and my brother's presents, wrapped them as normal and then wrapped them again in a giant pass the parcel.
It was fun, but took us half an hour to get through, and then we still had the rest of the presents left to unwrap.
Dr Namgge
I'm hoping you followed this with an enjoyable game of musical chairs
SAVE MONEY!
Here's a tip-top tip: instead of spending a fortune on a personalised number plate for your car, just change your name by deed poll!
Save money on petrol by pushing your car everywhere. Often, people will think you've broken down and lend a hand.
Crinkle-Cut Beatroot, aka XYO 1FN
Or thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard. Yum.
