The Mega-Zine Museum
November 16, 2005
LORD SEBASTIAN FLYTE Hello Ziners. I'm new! Devour me! With a nice cuppa?
PUNK PRINCESS I have a question - if giraffes have no vocal chords then why does your singing wake me up at six every morning?! Answer me that Mr Wuh-Luh-Wuh! I've got very BIG chords!
TURNIPY TEXTS
UNUSUAL SUSPECT If you were to think my fave film is The Usual Suspects, you'd be wrong. It's The Usual Suspects. Damn, I mean Taxi Driver. I heard it was the adventures of Anna Ballerina.
ENCHANTED ROSE Do you remember when I wrote in saying I broke a mirror? Yeah, well, it happened again! I'm doomed! Only for 14 years.
PAVLOS DOG What would you do if you woke up and you were dead? Hangover?
I wouldn't know anything about
BREAKING MIRRORS BY LOOKING IN THEM
BAD DAY
Man, I'm having a really bad day. Firstly, I bought a cursed jumper and now I can't take it off. Then, my cat drank radioactive waste and became a superhero, saved my life, then the power went to his head and he's starring as a stuntman in Die Hard 4.
And to top it off, I have four muses now! What am I gonna do do with four muses?
Paddy Irishman
Get them to clear the radioactive
WASTE OUT OF YOUR FRIDGE
VAN DER GRAAF GENERATOR
Well, I just saw a really kick bottom oldie band with my dad called Van Der Graaf Generator, even though the band had a guy on saxophone who looked suspiciously like a maths teacher, and I suspect they are all close to pensionable age.
I still do not know how a song called Killer could be defined as pastoral.
Princess Psycho
You need to take that up with the
DRUM-PLAYING GEOGRAPHY TEACHER
YET ANOTHER MEGALOMANIAC
Ha ha ha ha - the ducks and I shall take over the world because we can communicate through... quacking! Of course some people call me crazy but I'm not, honest.
Little do people know that ducks have access to nuclear weapons and their quacks are telling me what do.
Confused Pirate
You should leave it to another type
OF QUACK TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO
SPARROWS
Where did all the sparrows go? I used to see sparrows everywhere. Now they're getting as rare as rock albums that don't feature Dave Grohl.
Why? I like sparrows. They're cute.
If I catch bird flu I want it from a sparrow.
Vigilante Maelstrom
It would be a very sweet strain that
WOULD ONLY REQUIRE SEEDS TO CLEAR
SEEKING FLATMATE
I want Crinkle-cut Beetroot as a flatmate. I could bring girls home and try to explain why my flatmate is in the bathroom grunting.
Erm, on second thoughts, any non vegetable 'Ziners need a home?
Red XVII
Can you put my moggy Medula up?
SHE WILL SING TO YOU INSTEAD
