The Mega-Zine Museum
October 26, 2005
ARRANT NERD BOXES YODELLER What is the difference between a toothpick and a cocktail stick? One has pineapple.
ONE-WINGED ANGEL To settle it once and for all, I don't fly in circles. In fact, I don't fly at all. The wing is just there to look cool. It does too.
PAGE TWO TEXTY TANTRUMS
RATMAN TUPPA Two of the most scary sights ever: Rory McGrath topless and Jonathan Ross with his bum out on They Think It's All Over. Ugh. Man flesh.
ELECTRIC MAGIC I've seen it, touched it, tasted it and smelt it. And I want it. Leave the Jaffa alone.
DALEK WLW, am I annoying? Do I annoy you? Am I really annoying? Do I get on your nerves? Am I annoying you now? Tell me, am I annoying? Awfully so.
They think it's all over? It is now
I'LL NEVER TUNE IN AGAIN!
AUNTIE-ANNE UPDATE
Observant 'Ziners may recall that last year I wrote in having just received my yearly knitted jumper from my Auntie Anne.
Well, this year she's excelled herself beyond even my expectations. Not only has she done me a knitted jumper, she's also made me a pair of woolly socks to go with it.
Need I remind you all that I turn 20 the end of this month?
Camarac
But has she knitted a poncho for
YOUR FAVOURITE PET?
NORBEX, DALEK, DR NAMGGE
You're all right, I do have a pathological need to insult people, but you do me no favours by all being so insultable. Sort it out folks!
I don't just insult people though. I also write letters about how good I am at stuff and how much gooder than everyone else I am. Take Sudoku for example - I'm awesome at that.
Norman Radcliffe
What a lot of hot air.
INSULT ME IF YOU DARE
MONDAY OCTOBER 24
I am changing the name of this date to Superhero Day because of these TV programmes I saw:
- Fairly OddParents... Timmy wishes everyone had superpowers.
- Batman, the original film.
- I watched Kypto all the way through for the first time and it had Batman-style rip-offs as well.
- CBBC started a new series called The Batman.
Souroff Dark Lord of Dormor
Great. Only another year to wait for
THE NEXT ONE. AT LEAST YOU'VE GOT ME
JOB SEEKING
I would like to apply for the position of Dr Nick. My qualifications are...
- I have a friend called Nick. Well... he's called Ben. But his dog is called Nick AND it's a doctor!
- Or was it a cat? Can cats be doctors?
- Hold on, now that I think about it he said its name was Bill.
Am I hired?
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning
Clearly perfect for the job of
HELPING UNTANGLE MUDDLED TEEN MINDS
AWKWARDNESS
You remember talking to the opposite sex when you were young don't you, WLW?
You walk up to her and you think: "I'm Mr Coooool." And before you can get a "hello" out you've gone so red your face clashes with your shirt. And then, your hands go sweaty, your knees go weak and you can't get a word out without st-st-stuttering.
The worst thing is, this is only when I'm buying groceries.
Interesting Chair
My red face co-ordinated perfectly
WITH MY SPOTTED COAT, THANK YOU
