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October 23, 2005

NORMAN RADCLIFFE What do you call a band that likes to steal from shops? Lost Profits! Or Kaiser Thieves?

JUICY STRAWBERRY, HECTOR'S HOUSE Psychic Potato: What kind of creature is Roland? Is he a rat? He is unique. Which is probably a good thing.

 

PAGE TWO-ISMS

TUFTYBEE My cat is no longer a cat. He's turned into a shrub. He's got leaves and everything. Tabby expected.

DALEK Norman Radcliffe, you seem to have a lot to say about nothing at all. Just like this letter - pointless. But his wife Paula is a great runner.

RED XVII Goodbye Junior Minister, I warned you that badger watching would lead to trouble. Or maybe I told my shadow. He'll brock no argument.

Does anybody out there know

THE POINT OF LOUIS WALSH?

 

LIST OF LISTS

  • Things to do
  • Top ten sexiest
  • If 'Ziners were...
  • What I did the other day
  • List of random things
  • Things that annoy me
  • Shopping list
  • List of lists
  • List

Psychic Potato

You could get yourself

A JOB ON Q MAGAZINE

 

NICE DUCKS, MEAN DOGS

I like feeding ducks. I had at least 10 ducks and six swans crowded around me eating bread yesterday. It was great.

I don't think the people who had to walk on the grass, because the path was full of ducks, enjoyed it so much though.

Then a dog came along and scared away the ducks and sat looking at me waiting for me to feed it bread too. Mean dog.

The One With The Mighty Antlers

Eating bread? He sounds

MORE CONFUSED THAN MEAN

 

DARWIN'S QUEST

"Darwin," said The Voice. "Darwin, you must find the Elusive Scroll of Isis."

So Darwin went to Isis and asked:

"Can I have your scroll, please?"
"Sure, which one?"
"The Elusive one"

And she gave him the scroll. The quest was complete!

Huzzah!

Vigilante Maelstrom

Isis called her son Isiah. Why?

BECAUSE ONE ISIAH THAN THE OTHER

 

THINGS BOYS DO

  • Feign nonchalance.
  • Overload on free pencils from Ikea.
  • Avoid doing the washing up at all costs.
  • Spend longer than girls in the bathroom.
  • If anything happens say: "It wasn't me!"

Enchanted Rose

Make pointless lists

LOOK OUT OF THE WINDOW

 

WITCHY TIME

Now, now, WLW, warts I might have but I most certainly don't have a green face!

Naturally, we old witches are looking forward to the end of month. We call it Samhain, the end of the old Celtic year.

Of course, others have hijacked it and call it Halloween and imported silly games from America... all those nice little kiddies knocking on the door... now what shall I do with them this year? Hmm?

The Cats' Grandma

I bet you can't wart...

ER, I MEAN WAIT, GRANDMA!