The Mega-Zine Museum
October 30, 2005
VIGILANTE MAELSTROM Nice to hear that somebody's strangling Robbie Williams. They didn't have to release it as a single, though. It outsold the rest of the Cats In Pain top 40 put together.
DR NAMGGE Now just where did I put that cabbage? What a patchy memory.
SECOND PAGE TEXTS
DOOSHMAN You mean The Conway Sisters AREN'T B*Witched? So, you got it wrong? C'est La Vie.
UNUSUAL SUSPECT I wish I was a member of the Weetabix family. They make the Osbournes look like the Tweenies. I see now... Sharon and Fizz.
GREEN-EYED IRISHMAN "My cat's breath smells like cat food." Some more words of wisdom from Ralph Wiggum. That boy is a genius. You feline okay?
I sense something of a Bewitched
REVIVAL. WHAT A LOT OF FUN
THINGS TO DO DURING...
School fire drills.
- Arrive at the assembly point with a plastic bag stuffed with school computers. If questioned, say: "I figured we were practising what we'd do if there was a fire."
- Dive through the closed classroom window. As the class gaze in shock, turn around and leap in through the hole in the window again. Grab the fire extinguisher, hop back out again, and sprint off.
El Borto
Do not let this 'Ziner loose around
SMOKE DETECTORS. I'VE WARNED YOU...
GIRAFFE RIDES
I picked up a giraffe from "Giraffes Are Us". On the way home I opened the sunroof so he could stick his head out.
You should have seen him: wind was blowing through his stubble, his nostrils were flaring. It was such great fun.
Until we came to the low bridge.
Daddypoos
Funnily and paradoxically enough
I DON'T FIND THAT STORY VERY FUNNY
"...SO YOU!"
"That bag is SO you!" I heard tell of an acquaintance's acquaintance. Now, what exactly did she mean?
Can bags talk, walk or think? No. Implying the poor lass is thick then? Hollow, obviously, quite possibly in the head. Again supporting the previous statement.
Ah. It reads "Revolves around me." Selfish. Well... self obsessed.
Oh, the bag is itchy too. Irritants. Aha. True.
Elden Ray
I'm consigning all my handbags to
TO THE CLOSET AND WEARING THE KEY
SOME ADVICE
Hey dudes. Don't let life get you down. Should you despair over a relationship gone bad, this is what you should do:
Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love, and to be loved in return.
Cheesie Dudette
How very cheesy, dudette. Now I
FANCY A STILTON AND PEAR BAGUETTE
SURE
Sure, I'm a major player in the fish shrinking business, but that doesn't mean you can talk to me in a tone comparable to that of a nasty milkman giving a dressing down to a shy bat.
Sure.
Len Secret
Your request just made me pout,
STRANGELY ENOUGH, LIKE A TROUT
