The Mega-Zine Museum

March 20, 2005

THE SLUG OF GREAT PERIL A word to sum up my day - grompsh. Schlurp rumph!

STUTTERCUT Bum-Tsch, Bum-Tsch, Bum-Bum-Tsch. That's how the song went, exactly like that. I liked the 'Bum' bits best, although the 'Tsch's' were admirable too. Stop, it's getting hot in herre.

BANK OF FRIENDSHIP No seriously, WLW, just how do you fit in the lift to get up to the 85th floor of Teletext Towers? I am lowered in through the retractable roof.

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...on Bargain Hunt

• refuse to wear the jumper
• say the other presenter is better
• buy nothing
• bid for the opposing team's items
• spend more than your budget
• 'accidentally' break your items
• buy the cheapest item for all your money
• keep the items

Dr Namgge

Beware of what lies underneath if

YOU DISCARD THE JUMPER

TOWNIE TIM - EPISODE #21

The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning

Mabel Mop rubs my computer down a

LOT. SHE WORKS TOO HARD THAT ONE

THAT WEEKEND FEELING

I'm really excited and though I don't want to go into a backlash of songs from decades ago, I do feel that we're all in need of a time machine of sorts.

Just imagine the fantastic things we could all do, like catch the bubonic plague (ok, so maybe that one's not so fantastic). But there's tons of stuff we could still do and see.

Oh, how I wish I had one.

Elden Ray

I'd go back to the day when they

INVENTED THE VERY FIRST JAFFA CAKE

LITTLE BRITAIN (AGAIN!)

Ahem, Owl of Bewilderment, not all critics think of Little Britain as genius. I, for one, have been saying that it's bad for ages. Sure the first series was funny and the first episode of the second series was good (the first time you saw it).

Now the only thing that is still consistently funny about Little Britain is the Tom Baker voiceovers.

Comic Critic

OOh, who's the only critic in the

VILLAGE? KEEP IT LIGHT, GIRAFFELETS

BANK OF FRIENDSHIP

I knew I recognised your name from somewhere. I went to watch Arsenal play last week, and as I was walking to the ground I passed a big pub called "The Bank of Friendship". It's a strange name so I'm guessing you're a Arsenal fan? Or you live near there.

I would have gone in to look for you, but I'm not old enough. And I don't know what you look like. Which would help.

Lord Charles

Looks are irrelevant, it's what's

INSIDE THAT COUNTS. PORK SCRATCHINGS

A PAGE TO MYSELF, PLEASE

YAY! HOOP-A-DOODLE! FABEROONEY!

I get a full page! I get a full page!

I'm normally relegated to the bottom of page 1 but am trusting WLW has seen fit to promote me. Now if only I could think up something witty to say. I know - I'll come up with something original.

Hey, Briggie, how ya doin'?

Dougie the Minesweeper

Did you get soot in your eyes and

EARS OR SOMETHING? THAT WAS RUBBISH!

WHAT'S COOKING?

So who fancies coming over to my palatial abode and cooking me dinner? A stark warning, though: I eat no vegetables. I am primarily a meat eater - and also favour the odd octopus.

A concoction of tasty crocodile with some curry sauce would be most beneficent to you. And you're welcome to employ my foxy little microwave if it helps.

Any takers?

The Brigadier

I'm going to send my friend Peta

ROUND TO YOUR DINNER PARTY, SIR

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