The Mega-Zine Museum
October 3, 2004
JUNIOR MINISTER Why do all the people in my block like having a largh? What's that all about? Can they not say laugh, or something? Yes. But why would they?
ANIME BUDDY The Celebrity Awards? The media just gets worse by the day... That was a top-notch show. Honestly.
YE PURPLE PUFF OF ANCIENT LORE Loony Tune: Derren Brown's mine. You know it. No arguments. But I'll let you have his parrot Figaro. So generous. And the rest of you can have its droppings.
EMMA, THE ANGEL THAT IS 'LIL
Your 15 or so piercings beats my seven. If we were playing 21's right now, you would be looking fairly smug but I would be looking ashamed.
Although I would definitely twist in order to get a higher number, you may be uncertain and could stick. Then I'd get an ace and be laughing!
My 18 would beat your 15 and the money would be mine! Mwa ha ha!
Matthias Mortimer Zulu
Bet Emma can't wait to come round
AND START PLAYING. HMMM...
OKAY, WHO DID IT?
I am outraged. Somone stole my lunch today. Yes. When going to collect it, I was confronted with an empty space.
I don't understand. What would someone else want with my bread and KitKat?
Anyway, so I got stuck with a silly plastic container of rice, tuna, lettuce and tomato. Now I am hungry. And who's fault is that, lunch stealer?
Pah! Making me eat healthy food...
Satan's Little Helper
Just think of the benefits to your
DIGESTIVE SYSTEM, HELPER
LEGEND
| HIM: | "Squiffy was a great 'Ziner" |
| ME: | "Who?" |
| HIM: | "Squiffy The Squidgy One" |
| ME: | "Was he very funny?" |
| HIM: | "No" |
| ME: | "Was he very clever?" |
| HIM: | "No" |
| ME: | "Was he very original?" |
| HIM: | "No. But he was world haggis-throwing champion three years in a row" |
Gloggled
You lot are getting all nostalgic I
SEE. GET WITH IT, COME ON...
I SOUND LIKE SPIKY STUY!
Before writing this letter I would just like to say that it is written to someone very clever, witty, intelligent and funny.
Oops, did I say to? I meant from.
Not So Big Dave
How does "Not So Big Dave" sound
ANYTHING LIKE 'SPIKY STUY'? EH?
FREE LESSONS
After being in the 6th form for approximately three weeks, I have finally discovered what free lessons were invented for: getting addicted to pointless computer games. And sending pointless e-mails to people.
Like this one.
Fairy Nuff
As Janet Jackson once sang "the best
THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE LESSONS"
HALL FOOD
I should have seen the warnings. I shouldn't have bothered queuing for over an hour. The card to get your pre-paid food even has the numbers of local take-outs on the back — that had to be a sign of the quality.
But no, I disregarded that and instead I was faced with student-grade food.
Gutted.
Numberthree
Were you faced with the slops next
DOOR'S PIG JUST SPAT OUT?
UP THE BLUES
I was watching the Chelsea game on the box with my 94-year-old grandad the other day.
They scored a goal and then they showed the instant replay. He thought they'd scored another one.
I was going to tell him, but I figured that the game he was watching was better.
Lord Charles
Did he watch that excellent 12-4
MAN UTD/FENERBAHCE MATCH TOO?!
