The Mega-Zine Museum
February 16, 2004
CLEAR HEART, GRAY FLOWERS I heard a rustle in my hedgerow, but I wasn't alarmed. It was just a spring clean for May Queen. A tiny wee bit early if you ask me! No spring cleaning in February.
SYKOPATHIK MUSHROOM I fancy you Katie. xxx. Oi! Valentine's Day is over.
SILVAN DRACONIS What is the point in having a chihuahua when you can so easily take a hamster for walkies? Hamsters don't eat much either.
TOWNIES
Oi, Freakyhunny, townies are amoeba, ignoramuses, and the chewing gum under your school desk.
To stick up for such low-life is stupid, not commendable, and not welcome on 'Zine.
Flexible Mildew
Not welcome on Zine?
I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT
SOME POINTLESS THINGS ABOUT ME
- I am actually half-mosher, half-goth.
- I'm in a heavy metal band called Cold Inside. (I'm the lead singer).
- I am the only female mosher at the school I go to.
- I belong to the Korn and Linkin Park Street Teams.
- I own 10 hoodies.
- Oh, and I got dumped by my boyfriend two days ago.
Mad Mental Mosher
When you're a star
HE'LL REGRET DUMPING YOU
HOW TOWNIES WERE CREATED
In the beginning, there was a group of students living in London and bored stiff. After seeing the flashmobbing craze they decided to pull off the greatest stunt of all.
They would all dress up in ridiculous sports clothes and hang around JJB with their baseball caps at ridiculous angles.
To their horror, the joke went horribly wrong. Soon, hundreds of loud-mouthed teenagers copied them.
Bob Geldof's Underwear
Those poor students
GET BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING
STOKE-ON-TRENT
A public loo has exploded here! Yes, our very own public convenience had a power surge and the roof flew off.
And the city ground to a standstill the other day after 2cm of snow. And there was a strange bloke in Hanley who looked like the dwarf off the end of Don't Look Now, identical duffle coat and all.
God, I love this city!
Helga the Viking
Stoke-on-Trent...
EVER MET ROBBIE WILLIAMS?
SAY A LITTLE PRAYER
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those townies who have tried to infiltrate Mega-zine.
PS: I was wondering if you would add a PS.
The Girl With The Imaginary Friend Called Cecilia
If it's only a PS
IT'S NOT WORTH INCLUDING
ROMANTIC
To show my girlfriend how special she is I was going to give her a Valentine's card, but have you seen the price of them?
I decided to let her take me out for a drink instead.
Mr LoverMan
Just a wild guess but...
HAVE YOU BEEN DUMPED YET?
NOTICE BOARD
And it came to pass that I decided I wanted to be cool and have my own band. So, I need members, and they are to be you. I need vocals, lead guitar and bass.
Fear not, for I have drums, backing vocals and the triangle covered, by none other than my good self. Oh, and I'll get Al on the kazoo, she's fab, you'll love her.
Next week: Think of name of said group. And auditions.
Satan's Little Helper
'Zine on Top Of The Pops?
MY FANTASY FULFILLED
