The Mega-Zine Museum
February 19, 2004
DANGER RANGER MONKEY BUCKLE SHOE Excuse me, is this the way to the toilet? Follow the smell and trail of wet newspapers.
YELLOW KETTLE Foxes have cool tails. Almost as good as giraffe ones. Mine does come in handy, I admit.
LORD CHARLES My friends may come and go, but my enemies just accumulate. You too. Good. I'm glad I'm not alone. Well, I'm never alone with Davord shadowing me, like a shadow.
WEIRD LOGO
This has been bugging me now since I started reading 'Zine. What on earth is that picture in the top right-hand corner?
It's either a spider being squashed, some geezer blowing a whistle or a person being strangled, hence the tongue sticking out.
However these are all just guesses. WLW, what is it?
Anime Buddy
You must be a newbie
EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS
MAGIC PEN
I have a magic pen.
This magic pen is a bright green Biro with a maze built in that writes in blue ink. It seems to be very efficient in attracting members of the opposite sex.
Now I know Spiky Stuy's secret: he has a magic pen too!
The Wonky Gnome
Tip: never dip your nib
IN THE OFFICE INK
ADVERTS
I don't know if any of you have seen the Channel 4 adverts asking "celebrities" various nosey questions. Well I've decided to answer a few of them, to see if anyone actually cares...
Favourite stuff:
Number: 13.
Word: Perchance.
Jan of The Pink Gravy
10,988,063
GOOBLY-DO DIP DIP OIK
LATE REPLY
Yes, Insomniac Tapeworm, I've noticed the distinct lack of shirtness in music videos, too.
And let's face it, no one wants to see that much of Fred Durst.
Also, it seems poor Justin Hawkins has to make "clothes" from old curtains.
Yes, something should be done about this.
Her Infernal Majesty
Burn the catsuit
AND TAKE THE BAND DOWN WITH IT
TELETEXT
Sometimes my Teletext goes screwy, and the Goss page invades 'Zine. Here's what the end result looks like:
Hot off the press! Penguins have been signed up to do a gig at Topper's mansion in America. Celebrities such as Peter Andre are trying to take over the world! Gay Giraffe is set to top the charts!
Oh, the sheer comic value.
Apologetic Breadstick
If only it were true
I'D LOOK GREAT ON CD:UK
THE ART OF BEING WRONG
"Heaven and earth were all created in an instant, on October 23, 4004 BC, at nine in the morning." Dr John Lightfoot, vice-chancellor of Cambridge University, just before Charles Darwin published his book.
"Animals, which move, have limbs and muscles. The Earth does not have limbs and muscles, therefore it does not move." Scipio Chiaramonti.
Sykopathik Mushroom
I thought this was
THE SCHOOL HOLIDAY
SHORT LEG AND SIDES
Wouldn't it be good if, as with hair, you could have your legs cut when they got a bit long.
"Yes please, just take a little off the ankle and maybe a tad off the thigh."
I imagine scissors would not be an adequate tool for the job. I recommend a rusty pelican or maybe an array of wasps.
Stuttercut
No, no, no!!!
I LIKE MY LONG, SPOTTY LIMBS
