The Mega-Zine Museum
February 15, 2004
LONE DOODLER A couple of days ago, I stapled my two thumbs together. Don't ask me how I did it, I don't know! Ah, the price of being a little bit weird, eh, WLW? Nothing weird about me.
THE HAIR WHO DOTH CONSUME ALL I am The Hair, I have been sent from Planet Mullet to investigate the phenomenon known only as The Townie — and to eat cheeseburgers. Is your name Elvis?
DOUGIE THE MINESWEEPER Peanuts, anyone? Make it Jaffa cakes and you're on.
MINDLESS CARTOONIE FUN
I just wanna know what has happened to all the good old cartoons with their good old violence and stuff. I mean you can't sit in front of the TV any more without some Teletubbie-esque type of show being on. The people who make them should seek help!
Bring back Thundercats, Dungeons and Dragons or even Dreamston and let the kids enjoy the senseless cartoon violence while they can!
Fallen Faerie
You may have a point
I LOVE TOM AND JERRY
SWEET LONELINESS
I am sending this in the knowledge that by the time it's printed, Valentine's Day will be over and I will be in a void of self pity.
Oh, it's so lonely to be me. Must seek solace in chocolate...
I wonder what Briggie's up to right now?
Ye Purple Puff of Ancient Lore
Briggie's still searching
FOR HIS VALENTINES
MINESWEEPER
It has taken time, but now I can finally admit to my problem — I'm obsessed with Minesweeper! This is the ultimate game, and I just can't express my love for it enough.
It now worryingly rules my life, and is the reason I am failing my GCSEs, but I know it will all be worthwhile when I see that little dude's smiley face, and cool sunglasses. I just feel like he completes me.
The Spontaneously Combusting Penguin
I have the answer...
A GCSE IN MINESWEEPER
SHAKESPEARE IN A BASKET
| CYNIC: | "Can you help me?" |
| DOCTOR: | "Can I treat a mind diseased, pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow, raze out the written troubles of the brain, and with some sweet oblivious antidote cleanse the stuffed bosom of that perilous stuff which weighs upon the heart?" |
| CYNIC: | "Yes, yes, can you do it?" |
| DOCTOR: | "A bowl of prunes every morning should do the trick." |
Godfrey Daniels
That Shakespeare guy
HE'S A BIT CLEVER
POETRY CORNER
LIVING OUT THE GOTHSHOP
Necklace, earring, belt chain, studs,
Herbal bundles put on the till,
In his ear the bass drum thuds,
He's handed the bag,
Oh what a thrill,
He's a bona fide goth,
'o he goes to show off.
Luco El Loco
If you have a day job
DON'T GIVE IT UP
AM I CLASSED AS AN ICON?
Hey WLW, remember me? I'm Kilted Englishman, the one that started the "gay giraffe" theory about you.
I've missed all the frolicking on here. Will you have me back?
Kilted Englishman
It was you who dished the dirt?
I SHOULD SUE FOR LIBEL
SCARY
| DOTTY: | "WLW is a psychic." |
| DIZZY: | "Like Mystic Meg?" |
| DOTTY: | "Yes, she sees things that no one else can see." |
| DIZZY: | "What sort of things?" |
| DOTTY: | "Terrible, terrible things." |
| DIZZY: | "What could be worse than the stuff that gets printed on 'Zine?" |
| DOTTY: | "The stuff that doesn't get printed on 'Zine." |
I'm A Little Teapot
What and what not to screen
IT'S SUCH A PRESSURE
