Mega-Zine
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December 7, 2003

TARANTINO SQUIRREL Say, WLW, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? Don't mind if I do. Thanks Squirrel.

THE CHICKEN WHAT USED TO BE FUNKY What is the deal with the Darkness? They suck! Have you heard that new single? Help me lord.

THE DELOREAN THAT GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING The aptly named "wah-wah pedal" is a pedal that makes your guitar go wah-wah. Haven't we done this conversation already?

 

ERM

Isn't it stupidly stupid when people say "Wouldn't you like to know?" I mean it's just stupid.

Here's a short scene to convey my point:

BILL:"What's your secret?"
JOE:"Wouldn't you like to know!"
BILL:"Yes, that's why I asked."
JOE:"Oh, right."

See what I mean? Didn't think so.

Your Friendly Neighbourhood PlugDude

Stop

MESSING WITH MY HEAD

 

THINGS TO DO IN THE BACK OF A CAR

  • Look behind you frequently with a very paranoid expression.
  • Talk to an imaginary fridge.
  • Flirt with people in the car next to you.
  • Attempt to eat the seat in front of you.
  • Take some pants, put them on your head and shout: "Aliens are coming!"

The Wonky Gnome

At last a good reason for

SUFFERING THE RAILWAYS

 

BIDDIES

Old people...

They drive around at 5mph, they wear glorified plastic bags on their heads and they snatch empty mugs off you when you very politely ask if they've finished with their coffee!

Now I am a very caring person (honest) and am very courteous to these evil maniacs but still they manage to make me feel like horse manure!

The Long Blonde Brunette

You'd be in a bad mood if you

LIVED OFF THEIR PENSIONS

 

SUNDAY

Today, I got dragged out for a meal with my family. I was reading the menu when I chanced upon the dessert list. And do you know what it said?

Jaffa Cakes: "A new spin on Jaffa Cakes — your favourite biscuit cake thing in a chocolate cheesecake."

Or something along those lines anyway.

So I chose the tiramisu.

Satan's Little Helper

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhat?

WHERE IS THIS PLACE??!!

 

CHRISTMAS SINGLE

I was wondering if any Ziners would like to join me on my bid for the Christmas number one?

You will need:

  1. A voice superior to that of Justin Hawkins.
  2. Silver hotpants.
  3. Large eyebrows.
  4. Sean Paul to say "Otta, otta, yeah" towards the end of the song.

So, who will join me? Don't all put your hands up at once, now!

Xena: Lollipop Lady

I'll play

TAMBOURINE

 

WHY I WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD

Someone said why they didn't, so here's why I should.

  • My torture chamber isn't being used properly.
  • A bit more power than I'm used to.
  • You can create new names for countries.
  • I can make Mega-Zine an obligatory read for everyone.

The Illustrious Loscos

A BIT more power

HOW STRONG ARE YOU?!