The Mega-Zine Museum
November 12, 2003
CAPTAINSTUPIDO It's my college party next week WLW and I was wondering what I should wear if I want to impress the ladies. Any ideas? Your birthday suit should catch someone's eye. Maybe.
THE OWL OF BEWILDERMENT Look enough with Busted all right? If I want to see people talk about idiots with no talent I could watch Pop Idol. Go on then.
SUFFRAGETTE UNDERTAKER ICT is confusing me. What is the point of Excel again? Sorry, did you think I'd know?
THERAPY
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two packets of Starburst (Opal Fruits — and where did the yellows go?) and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.
The Girl With The Imaginary Friend Called Cecelia
Leave a little and prosper
OR HAVE A SNACK FOR LATER
MY THEORY
Using geometric logic and a bent ruler, I've calculated that there are really only two 'Ziners and four WLW's.
The two 'Ziners are The Wonky Gnome and Topper. They each use 43 aliases. Wonky is responsible for the amusing ones and Topper talks to himself a lot.
I'm not a 'Ziner, I just came in here to get out of the rain.
As for my four WLWs theory... Sorry, I have to go, it's stopped raining.
Godhelpus
I wish there were four of me
COULD HAVE A LIE-IN THEN
MEDIA LESSONS
This is our media studies homework. To get a celebdaq account. I love that lesson.
I mean, we normally only have to read newspapers, or if we are really unlucky watch television! And this is to get a GCSE as well!
How cool is this lesson? We get to watch unlimited sitcoms in lessons in the name of coursework.
A word that will strike fear into the hearts of people I know — cappuccino.
Fanta Flavoured Sheep
Now that's the kind of school
I'D HAVE LIKED TO GO TO
BUB & BOB
Who else has heard of this game? It's brilliant. You get to be a dragon that blows bubbles and eats his enemies. It's the best game in the world.
I propose that we start Club Bub & Bob asap so that everyone can enjoy the fun.
Blonde Butterfly
A dragon that blows bubbles?
FLAMIN' WUSS
THINGS I HAVE TO REMEMBER
- The little yellow pills the nice doctor gave me are for me, not my cat.
- Secret World Domination plans are supposed to be kept a secret.
- ALWAYS remember... um... something about having amnesia I think.
The Welsh Nutter from the Loony Bin
Don't swallow the black droppings
AND YOU'LL BE FINE
CAR INSURANCE STATEMENTS
- I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
- In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
- I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
A leprechaun called Steve
Maybe taking the Tube
ISN'T SO BAD AFTER ALL
HONESTLY 'ZINE
Why is it that when you're five and don't know how to spell a word, the teacher always says: "Look it up in the dictionary!.
Well excuse me if I'm wrong but if you can't spell a word surely you can't FIND it.
And why is it that when us girls are found in our underwear by a lad we're devastated, but yet when we go swimming in bikinis (which is practically the same thing) we don't bat an eyelid?
The Long Blonde Brunette
Wear a bikini every day
AND GET A TALKING DICTIONARY
