The Mega-Zine Museum
November 13, 2003
THE ONE WHO SELLS MUFFINS Nearly Christmas everybody! 'Tis the season to be jolly... Until you sit on the holly.
MERCY NUTS Busted should go to jail for their improper use of perfectly good instruments. Lock up The Darkness first.
FARMER JACK My dentist of 15 years recently retired, so we all chipped in and bought him a little plaque. Er... I'll get my coat. The white coat in the corner, yes.
YEP, WHO'S TO DISAGREE?
Hi people, remember me, Spiky Stuy's younger, taller brother? Well I've noticed you have all been putting him down recently — that's my job, not yours.
You all deserve a pat on the back and he deserves a slap in the face for being so spiky and jaggy and loving himself.
The One and Only Warlok
Are you really his brother?
OR STUY HIMSELF...
A CURIOUS NAME
As a newbie here, I thought y'all might be wondering where my name comes from!
Well last week my mate's dad was teaching me how us girls (who aren't built like that big pair off that pop show) can protect themselves.
He said if anyone tries to start trouble just shout "Spaghetti on a bike!" and while they get all baffled, you can just scurry away!
Funny, no? What do you mean, no?
Spaghetti on a bike
I wasn't wondering
BUT THANKS ANYWAY
CRAZY!
Can you believe that there is a world record for spitting a dead cricket the farthest? Some guy in America managed to spit one a whole 9.17 metres. That's just insane.
Now excuse me while I go and try and break the record for the most bees held in my mouth.
The Cynical Womble
There's one for firing a marshmallow
OUT OF A NOSTRIL TO A MOUTH TOO
BACK AGAIN
Hey WLW it's me again. Bet you missed me, didn't you?
Well I haven't written for a while due to the fact that I left school (yay!), but therefore lost the wonderful ability they call e-mail (noooo!)
But never mind, I am back and more evil than ever! (Cue manic laughter...)
The Pedantic One
The school promised me to keep you
LOCKED UP TIL AT LEAST NEW YEAR
GIRLS!
Since coming to uni, I have decided to investigate the phenomenon known as girls.
I dragged myself into the metaphorical merry-go-round kicking and screaming, and appear to be in the thick of it, in more or less the same stature.
Kicking due to a couple of failures, but screaming due to a date next week with the tennis secretary, Lucy, fnar!
Dirty Zaganza
What's her job?
CO-ORDINATING THE BALLS?
ODE TO HOLLY VALANCE:
There once was a sinner called Holly,
Who was clearly off her trolley,
She'd chase after guys,
Who had a huge surprise,
When she hit them with her brolly!
Look at that, WLW — a letter from me without a mention of Charlie! Er... damn, I just did.
Aah well... that's love for you eh?
Emma-the-lil'-Angel
Never mind bushy brows
THAT POEM MADE ME SMILE
DAVORD, MY LOVE...
So, according to WLW's reply, Davord finds me a warped Hugh Grant look-a-like. Mr Davord, you have a date. I like psychotic freaks who rule small planets.
I shall take you round the back of the finest takeaway in town and act Chinese out of rubbish bins, before retiring to my lair where we can debate how to rule small planets and how best to eat Brigadiers.
How about it, Lord of Tharg?
Anathema
I've never seen Davord looking lusty
IT'S A BIT DISGUSTING ACTUALLY
