The Mega-Zine Museum
March 9, 2003
DAGGSY Dr. Nick. Isn't he that guy from The Simpsons, the one that says "Hello everybody"? I wondered what the yellow face was all about.
DAVE THE RAVE All the ducks are swimming in the water. Indeed they are. A little boy was feeding them bread. Don't they know it's a private complex?
SYFANATIC I'm sending you my coursework WLW. Have it to me by next Wednesday. Cheers. If only the battery hadn't ran out in my calculator. What? I don't need it for history? Flip.
SWCDDTLL
I once knew this squirrel called Simon. Man, he could dance — so jazzy. He danced until his legs fell off.
Seriously, he now lives in a tree with no legs, poor guy. I have to take him nuts because he can't get them himself.
Please support the SWCDDTLL (Squirrels Who Can't Dance Due To Lost Legs).
Thank you.
Panda Jam
The Brigadier loses his legs after
EVERY GLASS OF PORT. HE'S NUTS TOO
BREAD ROLLS
Great, ain't they? They just have this naive perfection about them.
And they're so versatile — lemon curd, beans, cheese, mince-pies, apple...
Anything you can think of, it goes great with bread rolls.
Frank N Furter's Bride
I use them to clean my ears
I'M ALLERGIC TO YEAST
HELLO
I am writing to complain about a little round-faced man that refuses to leave our TV sets.
Yes, Howard from the Halifax. He is back in yet another advert, but this time as a school teacher.
Imagine being taught by him. Has the world come to an end WLW?
The Anon Hamster
My TV has reached the end after I
SNAPPED SEEING HIS SINGING FACE
SHOES
Shoes can be black
Shoes can be brown
Wear them at home
Wear them in town
Next time: Cabbage
Queen Niveus Of Coolhaven
Cabbage isn't good for athlete's foot
CHOPPING THEM OFF IS ALL YOU CAN DO
MY OBSERVATIONS ON MUSIC
OK, OK, I admit it, Oasis could be better than in previous years but they're a heck of a lot better than that Avril bird. And Blazin' Squad. And S Club Juniors. And...
And why is Kylie's bum getting so much press? She's been around since the late '80s. Did she not have a bum then?
There's nowt as queer as folk, is there WLW?
Helga the Viking
I remember when they talked about
KYLIE'S DUNGAREES. I'M GETTING ON
WHAT NOT TO DO IN EXAM HALLS
- Walk in late, pretending you are on the moon by walking really slow and big.
- Walk in late, and when asked "Why are you late?" quickly reply "Because you started before me".
- After 10 minutes, claim you have to leave because your dragon is giving you a lift home.
Farmer Jack
Don't get caught reading answers off
YOUR ARM. THE BELT IS VERY SORE
DO YOU SPEAK OLD HIGH GALAFRAYUN?
If memory serves, the Brigadier was a character in Dr Who. He was the one who always got dragged off by the Doctor on strange missions to faraway worlds.
If our Briggie is indeed the one and same it would explain rather a lot. All that time travel has severely affected his mind and he now spends his free time hallucinating and sending e-mails to the Zine.
The Despotic Banana
I suspect he looks a lot
LIKE A DALEK TOO
