The Mega-Zine Museum
March 10, 2003
THE IMMORTAL DEAD The Brigadier thinks he's so cool but all the 'Ziners know he's an old fool. That's a bit harsh. He can't be THAT old.
PARALEELOOGRAM Why does a red cow give white milk when it only eats green grass? Why are you meant to eat kiwi fruits like eggs?
THE ONE TRUE MOP HEAD Yoda you think I am? Wise choice this may be, perceptive are you, verbally dyslexic am I. But can you little legs stuff do light sabre with?
WLW
I think the world revolves around me. People are lost without me. They don't feel right and are always sad. They're always happy to see me.
But the thing is I feel sad making them happy. I want to spread my aura around. I want to be to be the person who stops the world feeling down.
What do you think?
Spiky Stuy
I think you should give Tony Blair
SOME TIPS
HALF FARES
I don't understand why bus conductors, bar staff and those of that ilk have such a problem with me pretending to be a little bitty older or a smidgeon younger. On occasion I can get away with paying a mere 55p on the bus, but increasingly I get shouted at and made to pay a beastly £1.10!
There should be a clause or something to save the likes of me some money.
The Suited Stranger
Wear school uniform on buses
AND SHORT SKIRTS IN PUB. BOYS TOO!
TEAM TENACIOUS D
Well said, Leprechaun Called Steve! 'Zine needs Team Tenacious D, much more so than Team Avril and Team PC!
I've noticed their jokes being used by 'Ziners, so there should be plenty of members. I would like to add my name to the list. Long live The D.
Bye, I'm going now, to Kyrgyzstan. For fun.
Jambon Magnetique
All these teams...
THREE-LEGGED RACES NEXT
COVER VERSIONS THAT SHOULD NEVER BE DONE
- Westlife singing One (by Metallica).
- Britney Spears singing Get Inside (by Stone Sour).
- Spoiler singing Summer Lovin' (from Grease).
By the way, I already know someone interested in doing a heavy metal version of Summer Lovin'. It just ain't right.
A leprechaun called Steve
Coldplay have been doing Timberlake.
PALTROW INFLUENCE, WE PRESUME
DOUGHNUTS
After having eaten doughnuts for many years, I have came out with a new doughnut concept. Doughnuts not only with holes in the middle — but also with jam in them.
Think about it! Not only would you not eat too much doughnut, you would also get that great jam filling which you could "accidentally" spill over someone.
I could really market this! What do you think?
Viva La Revolution
Stick them on your finger and splat
PEOPLE. GOOD FOR COMIC RELIEF
ODE TO JEFF BUCKLEY
Oh Jeff Buckley is so cool,
If you don't like him you are a fool,
You can't beat his music from here to the moon,
It's just so sad he had to leave us so soon,
Grace really is a fantastic album,
You should buy it.
Kleenex the Cop
So, it's true —
I AM A FOOL. MARVELLOUS
WHAT A TOP CHAP
I must declare what a fine, upstanding fellow Bamber Boozler is. Indeed, I took him to the club with me to dine on prawns and talk about military manoeuvres. His stellar knowledge impressed all.
My new maid, Donatella, was nonplussed when we rolled home inebriated, three sheets to the wind, stewed to the gills and happily tanked and plastered.
The Brigadier
The thought of those two on the pull —
ANYONE ELSE SCARED?
