The Mega-Zine Museum

January 5, 2003

RUSTI THE VAMPIRE SQUIRREL So why is it that whenever I order a double-double-double chocolate cake, they only give me double-double chocolate? It's not right! They should bring back hanging.

THE WASTED CIRCLE WLW, I've tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. Oooh, I know this one — the Cheeky Girls, right?

CITIZEN TWIGGY Wouldnt it be cool if the world was ruled by talking monkeys? I think it is.

NEW YEAR

Seeing as it's a new year an' all, I was wondering whether you could draw me a picture?

A drunken student? An out-of-date Christmas cracker? Oh, come on!

Genius at Work

I decided on the Easter bunny —

NOT LONG TO GO NOW, Y'KNOW

BLAZIN' SQUAD

The ones who call themselves Blazin' Squad think they're so strong and tough — well, get them to explain this.

10 men, all singing (or miming) and yet they still sound like little whiny country girls.

The "Tranchinator"

Harsh

BUT SO TOTALLY FAIR

HOPES FOR 2003

2002 was rather lame, so this is what I want for 2003:

• Money to grow on trees
• Wallets to keep all the money in that grows on trees
• Myself to be featured in a list
• Arsenal to win the league (wink wink)
• A picture of a klobb

Klobb of the Underworld

Picture of a klobb —

NOW YA GOT ME... ANYONE?

HIGHLIGHTS OF 2002

Greetings all, here's my own personal highlights of last year:

1. The Remote Part by Idlewild — album of the year if you ask me
2. The second series of Phoenix Nights and I'm Alan Partridge
3. Printed on 'Zine for the first time
4. Marrying Avril Lavigne

Well, maybe the last one was a lie, but it will happen, WLW. Trust me.

Samurai Hedgehog

Phoenix Nights and Alan Partridge saw

THE RETURN OF PURE COMEDY GENIUS

AN ADDITION TO POETRY CORNER

Desperate not to be a two-hit wonder, I thought I would write a poem.

Imagine life without 'Zine
Unthinkable, I know
We'd have to live on eggs and beans
And frolic in the snow
Can't think why, though...

What do you think, WLW? No, go on, tell me.

The Purple Frog

I cannot tell a lie — it's brilliant!

HEY, I CAN TELL A LIE!

UNWANTED CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

Where do they all go?

I know a good whack of them end up in charity shops, and a fair number are given to homeless pirates.

Some break after five minutes and are buried in back gardens and some are given to fishermen who get paid to dispose of them at sea.

Some are probably eaten by ill-informed toddlers and some just disappear completely. I think.

The Suited Stranger

That's where I can ditch my Gareth doll

... www.homelesspirates.com!

WINTER

For my debut I'd like to tell you 10 things I love about winter:

1. It's not hot
2. I don't sweat
3. I can wear thick, cuddly clothes
4. It's cool enough to sleep
10. We have an ice-rink here

Sorry, I missed a few — I'm off skating!

Dizzy Daisy

Well excuse us! Perhaps you could

FINISH YER LIST ANOTHER TIME, EH?

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