The Mega-Zine Museum
January 2, 2003
SPANDOREXXA WLW, which category do I fall into: Regular 'Ziner? Semi-Regular 'Ziner? Or, "I'll write whenever I deem you worthy" 'Ziner? Whichever makes you feel most comfortable, I reckon.
THE DISGRUNTLED SWEETHEART OF KICKBACK Thank you WLW, I'll have 2 sugars, milk, 3 stirs to the left, 4 to the right. Really? Will you? I think not.
SMARMY JOE BLOGGS WITH HIS DARK GREEN JUMPER Is this the best name ever or what? It has to come pretty close!
IT'S GENIUS
I, too, have seen this 'Ziners list and I thought to myself, "I want to be in it, but not in the middle... at the very top!"
So, my plan is to call myself something like '1 IS THE NUMBER'. But to get printed, I need to say something.
Well, I saw Blue Peter's Connie at Reading Festival this year!
How's that?
1 Is The Number
Spotting kiddie TV "stars"
IS A START, I GUESS
BURGER KING
Have you heard about this guy who is suing Burger King for making him fat? For me, this is one of the most memorable moments of the year.
In fact, he's probably the same guy who'll order every meal in one go, but "kid's size" because he's trying to watch his figure.
Hey, I wonder if he orders half-Coke, half-diet Coke for the same reason? Just a thought.
A Leprechaun Called Steve
The sooner they do low-fat onion rings,
THE HAPPIER I'LL BE, FOR SURE
THE BEHAVIOUR OF...
No 5 — YOUR HAIR
I mean, you have to pay to have less of it! Hairdressers must be laughing. Leave it for too long and each hair begins its own quest to move as far away from its original position as possible.
You feed it, take care of it, clothe it, and what thanks do you get? Nowt.
Genius at Work
Chill baby, we all have bad hair days —
WELL, ALL EXCEPT RICHARD MADELEY
FARMER JACK'S FAVOURITE 'ZINERS OF THE YEAR
(please, read nothing into the order)
- Samurai Hedgehog
- The Dimgirl (from the molehole)
- The Geek Who Shall Inherit The Earth
- Insane Jam Sow
Enough talent there to switch on Blackpool's Christmas lights!
Farmer Jack
Of course, I can't possibly comment
BUT, Y'KNOW, GOOD LIST AND ALL THAT
POETRY CORNER — ODE TO WLW
WLW, brave and true
She hates Westlife, Spurs and Blue
So she should, too,
'Cos they suck
Pink Punk Princess
What's all this "she" business?
YOU BEEN TALKING TO THE NEIGHBOURS?
'ZINE LOVER
Wanted: female concrete animal, looking for quiet nights in being concrete and donkeyish. Must understand my love for Worms (hence the name). Must get along with my hamsters, Milan and Baros, and my goldfish — Didi, Hamann, Sami, Jerzy and Avril.
Must be available to mention my name in occasional letters to 'Zine and agree with most, if not all, of my opinions.
There must be someone out there who doesn't want to leave a donkey alone?
Concrete Donkey
You may find your love for Liverpool FC
REDUCES YOUR CHANCES CONSIDERABLY
FESTIVENESS
All this festiveness, tinsel, glitter, antler headbands and baubles is getting me down... I'm ready to move on. Easter is only three months away and all the preparations I have to make!
The stable has got to be ready for the lambs, the soil for the daisies and those cute chocolate nests have to be all crispy so I can delicately place the cute little mini eggs on top.
How am I gonna get it all done in time?
Mim Nice But Dim
Easter is considerably enhanced by the
VAST AMOUNT OF CHOCCIE INVOLVED
