The Mega-Zine Museum
November 8—9, 2002
PINK MAFIA Help me. Busted. I really like them. I even fancy one of them. They're what I go to school for. Don't tell me — the public school one? The toothy one? Not the one in the tree?
GENIUS AT WORK My God, you've grown since I last saw you, WLW. I've been living under the stairs with my feet in a bag of compost.
EMMA-THE-LIL'-ANGEL Je suis bored. Moi aussi, cherie.
DEAR WLW
Now that girls are allowed to wear trousers to school, I am starting a campaign to allow boys to wear skirts. Why now, I hear you ask?
Well, last week, I wore a skirt to my high school and what happened? THEY SENT ME HOME!
Can you believe this? I vow here and now that, by this time next year, boys will be able to wear skirts to school!
Viva La Revolution
I think you'll find you were sent home
FOR WEARING A NASTY PLEATED SKIRT
CHEWING GUM
Surely it is one of the great evils that threaten our society, along with S Club Juniors and plastic shrink-wrapped packaging.
When it's not lurking in the mouths of normally-reasonable people who have now made themselves look like cows, it's clinging, limpet like, to carpets, pavements and shoes alike.
Don't even get me started on people who leave chewing gum under tables, the eighth deadly sin!
Deluded Residue
Er... yeah... quite right.
DAVORD, QUICK, WHICH TABLE WAS IT?
DR NICK, MOVIE MAKER?
Hey 'Ziners. I have returned from Wales with some surprising news.
While flicking through the TV times last week, a film caught my eye. I forget the title but it said that it was directed or produced by "Nick Fisher, former agony aunt".
Is this Dr Nick from p146? If so, then it seems his life extends far past advising us troubled teens.
So then, WLW, when will you make your film?
Mr Self Destruct
I'm working on a script as we speak —
ABOUT A SAD, LONELY, TELETEXT ED
TOP FIVE BANDS WHO ARE GREAT YET NEVER SEEM TO GET A MENTION ON 'ZINE:
- Doves
- Interpol
- Ash
- Elbow
- Puressence
Samurai Hedgehog
Yes indeed... Ash — often to be heard
ON THE WLW TOWERS GRAMOPHONE
PITY ME
Today, at work, we had an early spring clean in the kitchen.
That's bad, but nothing when my boss is David Dickinson's evil twin (but without the tan and the suave charm) and he sounds like, and this is the worst part... Dale Winton. Cue horrified screaming.
Where do I go from here, WLW? Please... Help... Me...
Sam Got A Snorkel
You run... run like the wind
TO THE NEAREST JOB CENTRE
IN MY FANTASY LAND, WHO'S PLOTTING WHAT?
- Tobey Maguire would plead with me to let him star in any future student films I make.
- Lemmy of Motorhead would propose a duet.
- I'd wake up to find Robert Young in my chair reading a guitar mag, instead of just being greeted by a picture of him.
- The A-Team would sort out global terrorism over a game of whist and Eccles cakes.
Lucozade Lover
And Mr T bakes a mean Eccles cake
APPARENTLY
SAVE YOU ALL — I RETURN
My dear friends, I am now well on the road to recovery from my discomforting bout of gout and would like to express my felicitous gratitude to you all for the bountiful letters and postcards I received concerning my well-being.
No doubt you will be thrilled to know that I tackled my gout with intrepid valour and dauntless daring.
And Debbie, my sweet young nurse, was an estimable emissary of good fortune.
The Brigadier
I hear it's nothing but a diet of
MUNG BEANS AND GRAPE JUICE NOW?
