The Mega-Zine Museum
August 13, 2002
QUEEN OF THE TROUBLED TEENS Do you, or any other members of the Teletext Team, find it irksome that you cannot use italics? Or do capital letters when stressing a point? YES!
AMMOPOGO WLW, at least 5 of us claim to have rude pics of you. What DO you get up to... in Fulham of all places? I'm saying nothing without my lawyer.
SUBATOMIC GENIUS WLW, why do triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones? It's physics... or something.
SHORTENING WORDS
In my opinion, it should be banned. What's the point of shortening words down to single letters or numbers?
What do you think, Watered Lemon Wine?
Batman's Brother
2 annoying 4 words...
INNIT?
LOVE HURTS
I am in love
Oh how lovely for me
I am in love
I carved our initials in a tree
I am in love
She's the only one my eyes can see
But she's not in love
Or at least... not with me
Excuse me while I go cry.
Grand Pappy Du Plenty
She had a big nose anyway —
WE NEVER LIKED HER
MISCONCEPTIONS
In London today, I discovered that Oxford Circus is not in Oxford and has no clowns or lions, the Isle of Dogs is not really an island and there aren't all that many dogs, and Baker Street has surprisingly few bakers.
Next, you'll be telling me that 007 doesn't live on Bond Street!
Insane Jam Sow
I'm not saying a word...
BUT HE DOESN'T, BY THE WAY
FOOTBALL
The football season's started, so who's going to win? The mighty Bradford City? Leicester? Or awful Coventry (who I support)? Who will win Division 1?
What? Oh yes, I suppose there is a higher league, but who cares about that? Arsenal will win it every year easily... until Coventry get back into the Premiership.
A Leprechaun Called Steve
Thierry Henry must be
SHAKING IN HIS BOOTS!
THINGS YOU DON'T SEE ON TV
- Slipknot invited to play on Blue Peter, all brownie packs and salsa dancers for them!
- Newsreaders' legs — do they wear shorts? Trainers? Kilts? Bin bags?
- A presenter admitting they have made a mistake.
- EastEnders eating their breakfast at home instead of in the caff.
This isn't going anywhere is it?
Yellow Jello
Have you also noticed how NO-ONE in
ALBERT SQUARE HAS A WASHING MACHINE?
THE RETURN OF ME
I have returned from my adventures in Scotland where (surprise surprise), it rained.
As I have not had text for several weeks, I will assume everyone was saying how they missed me, how they wished I would return and how they want to be my 'Zine girlfriend.
Offers of this sort can now commence again but the senders must like Nine Inch Nails and the sweet chocolatey goodness of Revels.
Thanking you all in advance.
Mr Self Destruct
You've been away?
I HAD NO IDEA
SUNBURN
I was reading a free magazine from a well-known high street health and beauty chain, when I came across the "what's in and what's out" page.
I thought it was my duty to warn you all that this season sunburn is out, just in case you thought getting sunburnt was a good idea.
Apparently, there is nothing pretty OR clever about it! Who would have guessed?
The Animal Of Farthing Wood
Getting sunburnt is not a major issue
IN FULHAM, BELIEVE ME
