Mega-Zine Museum: Letters

June 21—22, 2002

ANXIOUS AARDVARK The combined amount of hair grease from the Argentinian football team is enough to keep all WWC wrestlers oiled up for 30 years. They do have a hair prob, I agree.

LITTLE SILVER MOONBABY Hey WLW, the people who own the newsagents I work at are called Rosie and Jim. Funny or what? I'm still laughing, I am.

THE SNORKMISTRESS WLW, finish this tie-breaker in no more than eight words — I like Jezza because... Darn it, no room!

DEAR WLW

I am sending this letter in plenty of time for it to be printed for my 16th birthday on June 21. Please print this, it'll make my day.

By the time it's printed I will have finished my GCSEs and be enjoying my long summer holiday with weird and crazy antics. I will also have the new Foo Fighters album, hopefully, if it's been released.

Hurrah!

TheUnitedTruth

Your wish is my command —

BIRTHDAY FELICITATIONS ETC ETC...

AN ADDITION TO POETRY CORNER

There was an old man on the coast
Who placidly sat on a post
But when it was cold
He relinquished his hold
And called for some hot buttered toast.

Limericks are back in fashion.

The Despotic Banana

It's clean — I suppose

I I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT

WLW, DAVORD ETC

Things you shouldn't find in a toaster:

A cat
Portal to a parallel universe
The Saudi Arabian football team
The English exam paper you should have handed in
Delicate body parts

Mad Bloke

Nor indeed gerbil droppings, Will Young

OR THE CAST OF HOLBY CITY

CONTENTS OF MY BLAZER POCKET

Mini Political Atlas of The World
Piece of yellow, magnetic plastic
Page 58 of the Birmingham phone book
£1 coin
Several vitally important, unsigned letters

All of these will need removing before the upcoming ceremonial burning.

Insane Jam Sow

Aaaah... the ceremonial burning...

NOTHING QUITE LIKE IT, IS THERE?

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Today, I was just standing at work doing nothing (as usual), when a random thought popped into my head. A thought which I had never been contemplated before that very moment.

I thought... "I would like to be a gangsta rapper".

Well, I have to say, I never saw that one coming.

She Who Lost The Plot

The other day, I thought I'd like to be

A BOBSLEIGH CHAMPION. NO IDEA WHY.

SATURDAY NIGHT TV

It really has gone down the pan, 'cos if it's not the truly terrifying Les Dennis and his Family Fortunes, it's some chat show involving Michael Bolton striding around in leather trousers... eeeewww! I can hear them creaking now.

Whatever happened to good old entertainment like, ummmmm, never mind.

Broccoli The Evil One

Exactly. Blind Date, Casualty, Parky —

NEVER BEEN QUALITY VIEWING, HAS IT?

RE: WORLD DOMINATION

Yes, it is I, Belfast Boy. I have returned from the dark depths of County Monaghan to bring great news.

Whilst reading through a newspaper, I heard the news. There is a man called President Zine. He is in control of Tunisia.

Well, love to you all.

Belfast Boy

Don't we have copyright? I think a call

TO THE TUNISIAN EMBASSY IS IN ORDER

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