The Mega-Zine Museum

June 6, 2002

SECLUDED RAINBOW WLW, I really like what you're doing with your hair! You look great! And no, this isnt a pathetic attempt at flattery to get myself on 'Zine! It isn't? Really?

COW IN THE SHED Here's a tip: while they lecture you, you lecture them! You wonder why you're always in detention?

RAINBOW STRIPED POLKA DOT SPOT What is the point? Just what is the point? There isn't one. It's pointless. All of it... pointless.

HOWDY,

By the time this letter is printed, Queen Lizzie's Jubilee will be over. There will be no more documentaries on TV and we'll have to wait another 25 years before it happens again.

So, what'll we be doing in 25 years? WLW will probably be drafted into another section of Teletext, 'Zine will have disappeared from our lives and the limited edition Coco Pops (Croco Pops) will be off our shelves.

Big Bob Flapper

Another section of Teletext?

NO 'ZINE? WHAT LIFE IS THIS?

WOULDN'T IT BE TERRIBLE IF...

• Brass bands were banned.
• They cleaned up all the gum off streets.
• People from Singapore would have nothing to complain about.
• REM replaced Michael Stipe with a tree.
• King Charles I came back to life.
• Everything was as dull as The Brigadier.

1929

Not quite as terrible as the thought of

AN ENTIRE H AND CLAIRE ALBUM

CHESNEY HAWKES

Surely a god among us? Join me, my 'Ziner comrades and we will form a cult in his honour!

We can all get puffed up blond semi-mullets and wear checked shirts day in, day out!

Come on, he's making a comeback — join or feel the wrath of Chezza!

Broccoli The Evil One

You know what? You are definitely

THE ONE AND ONLY!

'ZINERS,

While watching Attack Of The Clones I realised three things;

1. Natalie Portman is the most beautiful woman in the world
2. Yoda is the coolest man who ever lived
3. I am the only person in the world who likes Jar Jar Binks

That's all, thank you.

Go Yoda!

Veryhairymonkey

While watching Attack Of The Clones

I REALISED... WHAT A LOAD OF TOSH!

OUR FELINE FRIENDS,

WLW, we know you like cats but what's your favourite breed? Of what pedigree is dear Mavis?

Are you a Persian person? Or pehaps Manx, Tabby or Cornish Rex? Or perhaps you're a fan of just downright moggies?

I'm a Siamese man myself; I just can't get enough of their sweet little chocolatey ears and noses.

Long live cats!

Insane Jam Sow

Mavis is a pedigree moggie —

THAT'S WHAT I TELL HER ANYWAY!

HEY!

Every single 'Ziner talks about WLW Towers and how great/damp/big etc it is... but I've never been! Why has everyone else been to visit but not me? I would dearly love to visit your gracious abode.

I'm kind and polite... do you think your mum wouldn't approve of me, WLW? I have excellent manners when it comes to mummies!

Please invite me round!

The DimGirl from the Molehole

I threw the doors open for the Jubilee

...SO WHERE WERE YOU?

TROUSERS

Have you noticed that when you are in a hurry and need to get dressed fast, your trousers always turn against you?

Whether it be getting both legs in one hole, tripping over the ends or getting parts of you trapped in the zip, trousers seem to be designed to cause the most pain when you're in a rush.

I have therefore decided trousers are evil and will wear a dress from now on.

Bob Snitchet (the trouserless)

Perhaps not a good idea

DOWN YER LOCAL RUGBY CLUB

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