The Mega-Zine Museum
June 5, 2002
BURNING VULPES PANTHERA Isn't it amazing how the AOL lady looks so much like Cherie Blair? They both have that engaging smile, don't they?
ZERTRUDE TROUT WLW, how many roads must a man walk down before YOU will call him a man? Depends, are we talking long motorways here, or little B-roads?
BOOGIEPOP Hello. I've been reading off and on for about four years and I thought I might as well say hello... so "Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello"! Hello.
THINGS TO DO WITH AN INVISIBLE FRIEND:
- Have snowball fights
- Practise the "cracked egg" joke on his head
- Watch daytime television
- Have an argument about polecats
- Run out of ideas
Lame idea for a letter, but thank you for printing it anyway.
Swedish von Bowlcut
Trouble is hitting someone else with
A SNOWBALL AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN
WLW
I'm sure, if you could see how pretty I am, you'd print my letters.
Then again, I'm sure if you could see how big and strong my uncle is, you would definitely print my letters. All of them.
The Gothic Crayon
Is that a threat, missy?
DAVORD... OVER HERE A MINUTE
OZZFEST 2002
Though I wasn't there, I did listen to Ozzfest on the radio.
Great show, but why do so many metal bands insist on singing like a cat suffering a severe case of laryngitis? Kittie and American Headcharge were tortuous.
Now, Mr Osbourne and Mr Wylde — they know how to rock. I Don't Want To Change The World was brilliant, really anthemic.
Lucozade Lover
My Mavis is jolly unimpressed at your
CAT WITH LARYNGITIS REFERENCE!
HAPPY LITTLE ONION
Topic of debate: Cow's milk!
Who first thought of drinking cow's milk? Did someone say "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of this pink thingy if I squeeze it"?
And since this is my first letter, can I have a piccie? An onion? Or a cow or something?
Crinkle-Cut Beetroot Soaked In Vinegar
You can have an onion. A red onion.
I'M SURE YOU'LL AGREE — MASTERPIECE
'ZINE GIRLFRIEND
Wanted: one 'Zine girlfriend for fun-loving roundabout. Must like parks and spinning.
Surely there must be someone who wants to befriend a new, lonely 'Ziner? No?
Oh well, guess I'll have to go without then...
The Roundabout Of Magic
Aaaahhh... a tug at the heart strings
IF EVER I HEARD ONE
WLW AND 'ZINE
I feel compelled to rush to the defence of my beloved West Bromwich Albion, which Fluffy The Evil One described as "not very good" in his list of If 'Ziners Were Football Clubs.
I feel a bit of jealousy here. We all know Fluffy lives in Wolverhampton, the team that lost out to WBA in the promotion race this year... so if we're not very good, Wolves are worse!
Freaky Jon
I have a good friend who's a Wolves fan
SO I HAVE TO BE A BIT CAREFUL HERE
AN ODE TO SUNITA
I must admit I was most distresed when the gorgeously sophisticated and beautiful Sunita decided to decamp from the Big Brother house. My heart is desolate and my anguish evident.
She was a beacon of intelligence compared to the rudimentary talents of most of the other competitors — except for the divine and wholesome Kate, of course.
The Brigadier
The divine and wholesome Kate ain't so
DIVINE OR WHOLESOME MATEY, TRUST ME
