The Mega-Zine Museum

June 7—8, 2002

SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT I am like a headless chicken. Am I rushing around frantically? No, I'm wearing a headless chicken costume! Very fetching two.

A LEPRECHAUN CALLED STEVE Today, I will mostly be watching... TV! Again! Me too, though this World Cup nonsense is playing havoc with my beauty sleep.

JEZZA One of life's big questions: Why, when you are in a relationship, do girls take notice of you, but when you are single... you're ignored? Give up.

REASONS WHY SHEFFIELD IS THE WORST CITY EVER:

1. When I shouted "Hail Davord" in the city centre, all I got was a funny look from the Big Issue mag.
2. Sheffield accents
3. The distinct lack of good shops — apart from Rocky's.
4. Because I say so and I have Papal infallibility. At least I will do, very soon, should my plan work...

Obsessive Monica (the nonentity and future Pope)

There must be one good thing about it?

NO? NOTHING? MAYBE YER RIGHT THEN

WLW,

I'm looking through my sent items which contain almost every single letter I've sent to 'Zine... and the vast majority of them haven't been printed!

I reckon only about 15% of them have. And I worked so hard on them... taking time out of doing homework etc activities.

I greatly enjoy writing them, so should I send them all to you again and see if you print them?

The DimGirl from the Molehole

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Really, no —

NOT AT ALL NECESSARY!

WOW!

This is a list of amazing things that you might, but probably don't know:

• A shrimp's heart is in its head
• It is impossible to lick your elbow
• A pregnant goldfish is called a twit
• A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue

Bet you all tried to lick your elbow!

Coca Koala

I did, I did! And you're right —

'TIS IMPOSSIBLE

RE: BACKWARD MESSAGES

Fluffy, I tried that whole backward message thing last week. I locked my bedroom door and put on my Ozzy Osbourne record and sat for ages, hoping I'd hear something!

Eventually I did. I kept hearing "you are a waste of space" over and over and it freaked me out... but it turned out to be my sister shouting through the keyhole!

Subatomic Genius

I tried it with that DJ Otzi malarky —

I JUST KEPT HEARING 'YOU YUCKER!'

A POEM FOR THE BRIGADIER

You smell like a flower
Having a shower
Is it in manure?
I'm not too sure

Somehow, I don't think he'll like it, but can I have a picture of a flower anyway? Please, WLW?

Nighttime Sunshine

I'm not sure he'll understand it!

HERE'S AN ICKLE FLOWER ANYWAY

WLW,

Your identity has been released.

After much thought, I have come to the conclusion that you are in actual fact... a woman who appeared on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" and, when asked what she would do with the money, said she'd have a bath full of melted chocolate to lie in and perhaps another chocolate bar to eat at the same time.

TheUnitedTruth

Rats — and that was my

BEST DISGUISE TOO

NOTE TO SELF:

1. Teachers don't find it funny when you hum during exams
2. Marmite and lemon curd doth not nice sandwich make
3. If you let your e-mail address slip to your sociology tutor, they tend to e-mail you revison notes five times day! Grrrr...

The Little Silver Moonbaby

I'm not even going to ask how you came

TO DISCOVER THE SANDWICH THING

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