Mega-Zine
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March 26, 2002

LOOMINOUS FROOT You turn left at the next junction and carry on till you see the cows. I knew I had that map upside down.

SATAN'S RUBBER DUCK I am proud to say that I have never seen the HSA advert. Count yourself lucky!

JEFFERY PIG In France, they have a saint for every day of the year — that's 366 saints. I wonder who the unlucky one that drew February 29th is? St Leap of the Holy Year... maybe.

 

POETRY CORNER

I have decided to make an addition to Poetry Corner. I have taken it upon myself to glorify the children's rhyme, George-y Porgey. Thank you.

George-y Porgey, pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too, he was funny that way!

Next time, Jack Be Nimble.

Bob Flapper

Truly inspired — even if you took

ARTISTIC LICENCE TO NEW HEIGHTS!

 

UPPER RAMSBOTTOM

That is where I live, but whenever I go down south and need to tell someone where I live, they never take me seriously.

So people, get out your maps of Lancashire and above Bury you will see my little town of Upper Ramsbottom.

There, I bet none of you lot live in a place with such a daft name.

Schizonumber3

You're assuming we have

A MAP OF LANCASHIRE? LIKE, WHY?

 

TOPICAL COMEDY

  1. I'm not particularly fond of football. My favourite team would probably be Arsenal because that will bode well with WLW.
  2. Talking of topical comedy, has anyone seen Does Doug Know? Daisy Donovan has a tan! Yeuch! And she looked so pretty on the 11 O'Clock Show too.
  3. What's the deal with old people then?
  4. Bubble wrap rules.

Onyx

Don't like the way you mention Arsenal

AND "TALKING OF TOPICAL COMEDY"!

 

THE FIRST POST

Sorry, I forgot who said they like Douglas Lurpak, but I am him. A lardy boy (heavier than my mate who, I recently quipped, is "fat"), I also play trombone quickly and well, and I own (and wear on special occasions) a tuxedo.

AND this is my first post, which will hopefully be on if I flatter the most wonderful, amazingly fantastic WLW.

Grumpy Joe

Aaaaahhh flattery...

ALWAYS WORKS FOR ME

 

WLW

Something has been puzzling me for quite a while now (well, at least since lunchtime)... who made up superstitions? Did someone one day just walk under a ladder, then die and think, "Oooh, that was unlucky"?

I'm intrigued. And the throwing salt over your shoulder thing — what's that all about?

WLW, please solve the mystery.

The Catnappers Poodle

My nan won't put up an umbrella

IN THE HOUSE... BUT THEN, SHE'S BARMY

 

OK, YOU WIN, I STOLE YOUR TORTOISE

Underrated 'Ziners:

  1. Secluded Rainbow
  2. Bob Bob the Bob
  3. 1929
  4. Polythene
  5. Kiss the Goose (where are you?)
  6. Snaz
  7. The Snorkmistress
  8. Insane Jam Sow
  9. Pablo Marmite
  10. Uneducated Shampoo

Ms Jane Lane

Interesting list of fine 'Ziners —

NOW, ABOUT MY TORTOISE...

 

HERE'S MY THEORY

In 10 years' time, the world will be ruled by a giant yellow marshmallow. We will all call him Mallow Man and take him offerings of smaller marshmallows each day (his preference being yellow, of course).

I think this may have been in a dream I had once... then again, last night I dreamt of.... no, let's not go there.

PinkPunkBunny

Did it involve badgers?

MINE ALWAYS INVOLVE BADGERS