The Mega-Zine Museum
March 11, 2002
THE FRILLY FUNGUS-EATING FOX Do you ever find yourself wondering how different the world would be if pigeons had really long beards that swept across the ground as they flew? Er, no.
SKUTTER BOB Hey, WLW, do you think the Brigadier supports Port Vale FC? Geddit? "Port" Vale? No? Fine then! Thank you, we'll let you know.
POLLY'S CRACKER Do you think I'd get chucked off Countdown if I asked for nothing but consonants? Do it, do it!
'ZINERS
Do not doubt the power of the revolving door. These things are scary.
You have to judge the time exactly so you don't get squished as you get in. Then you must judge again so you don't get squished as you go out.
You find that you get stuck going round and round in the door just waiting for the right chance to jump out.
Note: When in the door, it is not good etiquette to push it round as fast as you can shouting "Wheeeee!"
She Who Lost The Plot
Or indeed get in with someone else —
JUST ASKING FOR TROUBLE, THAT IS
CREATIVE WRITING
Yes, me, I am taking a creative writing course. It didn't say on the enrolment that you had to be good at it, and it means I don't have to take trampolining classes.
My teacher is a little strange, though. The other day she told me to write as if I was a reading lamp on a cluttered desk, and my friend was asked to be a vacuum cleaner in a cupboard.
Methinks this woman spends too much time stuck in the house.
Broccoli The Evil One
So, creative writing or trampolining?
WHAT KINDA CHOICE IS THAT THEN?
WLW
Your comment to my letter about curling said that the England Ladies Curling Team are on their way to my house!
Well, I'd like to say sorry but all I saw was the Men's curling competition. I can't mention the ladies as I go to college during the day and they were on after my bedtime.
So sorry to all concerned but when those ladies get to my house, could they please knock me up a good, old-fashioned fry up? Ta, love.
Jezza (The Tree Hugger)
Oh dear, you really don't do yourself
ANY FAVOURS, DO YOU?
MY (NOT SO) TRIUMPHANT RETURN
As you may have noticed, I haven't written in for a long time. The reason for this is that I was waiting for some amazing, dramatic event to happen in my life, and then I could tell you all about it.
Unfortunately, this has yet to happen and I have once again returned with nothing to write but pure drivel. Sorry.
Cradle Of Cheese
Worry not,
YOU'RE IN GOOD COMPANY!
WLW
You didn't answer my question. I just thought it would be interesting to know what you did with your education and how you ended up where you are.
I mean, it wasn't a difficult question to ask, was it? It won't affect how we think about you. We know you're cooler than a very cool thing.
So, what did you do education-wise?
Frank The Potato
I sat under the "wise tree", wished
AND LO AND BEHOLD — ENDED UP HERE
THE BEGINNING
Not having been here from the start, I have often pondered what the very first edition of 'Zine was like.
WLW, did you introduce yourself as WLW or did you just come to be known as that over time?
How did you get people to write/e-mail in for the first edition?
Did you put an ad in the paper: "Wanted — people to write strange stuff"?
Maybe someone could help me here.
Madame Flutterby
It started with a kiss... never thought
IT WOULD COME TO THIS...
SUCH CHOICE
I've recently had the undiluted pleasure of obtaining digital TV in my palatial domicile.
My, what a delight to have so many channels offering up such treasures as All Creatures Great And Small and The Persuaders.
These are the programmes that have made Britain the great country it is today — a wonderful nation that's prosperously, stylishly and roguishly sold in Yankee-land.
The Brigadier
Yankee-land? Oh dear, another nation
OSTRACISED FROM 'ZINELAND
