The Mega-Zine Museum
December 17, 2001
LE ENFANT TERRIBLE My pet rock! He does lots of tricks, watch. Brian, play dead. Now stand still. Now look like a rock. Good boy! You called it Brian?
HUMMINGBIRD OF PREY Quick, hide me. The killer goose of Leeds city centre saw me take his bottle of ketchup. Now that didn't really happen, did it?
ZERO TOLERATOR Coolness is in the anorak of the beholder. That will be all. Aaahhh... the anorak. And whatever happened to duffel coats, eh?
PITY
Pity those who go to Steps concerts.
Pity those children who are taken by their little-knowing parents.
Pity those who have to go because of little sisters.
Pity those who are taken on a surprise trip by their older sister.
Pity me!
Satan's Rubber Duck
She took you for a 'surprise'?
NO WARNING? DISOWN HER
FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE
Sorry Fluffy, but you are wrong. Technology of any sort is BAD (including mobile phones).
Mobiles, computers etc are all out to get you. They are very good and convenient at first, but then they turn against you and try to take over the world.
You have been warned!
Soap Sud
I swear... if I hear one more
'HILARIOUS' TUNE ON THE TRAIN...
DEAR SANTA
My animal wish list for Crimbo:
- A zebra
- A duck (the one with the green head)
- A teeny, tiny piglet who, no matter how much I feed it, won't get any bigger
- A dog that I can call Sparky
Please Santa, I don't ask for much.
The Cornflake Kid
ps: My stocking is the one on the right
You're gonna need one heck of a
STOCKING FOR THAT MENAGERIE
'ZINERS
I have been observing the 'Trendy' and have found out this interesting fact:
It has its own little mating dance. The male sways from side to side, puffing out his chest to make himself appear bigger. He approaches his chosen mate.
She in turn wears her hair as high up as possible and plays with her fake gold chain.
If the attraction is mutual, children with mini Nike trainers will soon appear.
Perplexed Crow
They are the reason that
SOME ANIMALS EAT THEIR YOUNG
WLW
Another sighting of your car! This time, it was a beaten-up, old, bluey/browny Fiesta spotted in Milton Keynes!
First of all, a Ford Fiesta? And secondly, why on earth were you in Milton Keynes? It's the Blink 182 of England!
But anyway, how are you WLW? We haven't been to bingo in a while!
Lemming Curd
I'm OK. Suffering from 'bingo finger',
CAN'T MANAGE A WHOLE CARD AT THE MO
GREETINGS, I HAVE RETURNED
I have come back a changed 'Ziner and have come to the realisation that all men lie and none of them are worth the bother (except maybe Dani Filth).
WLW, I am a huge fan of your artwork and hope to have an original in my living room one day. So, do you think you could draw me a Christmas tree or something? Go on, it'll really cheer me up!
Omega
Your wish is my etc... etc...
COMPLETE WITH FLASHING STAR!
ODE TO SAVAGE
Oh savagest of all the cabbages,
Wilt thou be mine?
Thy gothic self and darkish manner
Is a match for mine bloodied heart.
Wilt thou marry us, WLW?
Dark Princess Apple
Oooh, a goth wedding —
I HAVE MY BLACK LIPPY AT THE READY
