The Mega-Zine Museum
December 18, 2001
SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT Ever misplaced a shopping centre, then you look round and realise that you're in the New Forest by mistake? I'm sure Milton Keynes was here yesterday. Er... no.
ULTRA-VIOLENT PIXIE Advent calendars with "interesting" pictures, yet no chocolates. I mean, WHY? That's sick!
PARSLEY POSSUM On school dinner lady adverts, does it specify an IQ not exceeding that of a trout? The food is generally smarter than they are, yes.
COFFEE
Signs that you are addicted to coffee:
- You have worn the handle off your favourite mug
- Your first aid kid contains coffee beans
- Instant coffee takes too long
- You sleep with your eyes open
- You last longer than any long-lasting battery
The Cornflake Kid
Tea is the future. Stick to tea —
COFFEE IS EVIL, LIKE DR P
IT'S AN OUTRAGE
As so many do when they're bored, a few nights ago I sat at my computer aimlessly typing 'Zine-related words into search engines.
To my horror, I found an educational service which was not only called Megazine, but referred to itself as "the 'Zine" for short!
Tell them they can't do that, WLW! Make them stop!
Ms Jane Lane
Who are these charlatans?
GET THE 'ZINE LAWYERS ON THE PHONE!
COMPETITION
Well, in an attempt at trying to compete, the Ed from B*ckch*t drew a really pathetic looking Christmas tree. It was all small and stuck in a corner. Poor tree.
But WLW can do sooo much better! You show 'em who's boss!
The Crazy Chick Who Stalks Sheep
We did a tree already — sooo last week!
CHECK OUT THE CHRIMBO PUD!
MY FAVOURITE THINGS THIS YEAR
- The return of the brilliant children's programme Rainbow
- Lemon Fanta
- American Hi-Fi's album
- My black flares
- The films Shrek and Dude, Where's My Car
That is all. Thank you very much!
Vegetarian Butterfly
Shrek was undoubtedly the best film —
EVEN DAVORD LAUGHED
HELLO WLW
An interesting query for you to ponder over — if I write a letter which is not long enough to have a page of its own, but annoyingly too long to be printed on the first page... where will it go?
bum di di bum di di bum bum bum
Usually in the recycling bin —
CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY THIS TIME!
WLW AND MAVIS
Why do all these people assume Mavis wants a relationship with another cat? I have a nice dog that could make her happy.
My dog (a golden retriever) is really really stupid but cute, loves nothing more than biting its own foot, walks with a limp and slobbers on you when it sits within a 6 mile radius.
So, Mavis, interested? We could have a 'Zine pet wedding — that would mean I would almost be related to you, WLW!
Pessimistic Peanut
I think it's a non-starter. I asked her
AND SHE DISAPPEARED OUT THE CATFLAP
FIREMAN SAM
I am, of course, responding to the recent bashing of Fireman Sam! How dare you, Dark Grey Wolfie!
Fireman Sam is great, only bettered by such classics as Thundercats, Transformers and maybe even the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles.
Did you know, WLW, in America it was called Teenage Mutant NINJA Turtles but in Blighty, it was HERO Turtles... whassat about?
Lemming Curd
Ninja, Hero, whatever —
IT WAS ALL BUNKUM
