The Mega-Zine Museum

November 12, 2001

PETE THE DESTROYER If at first you don't succeed, cheat. If you still don't succeed, you're doing something wrong. A fine motto to live by.

MYSTICAL MUFFIN Just out of interest (not desperation, you understand), did anyone take up the offer from the Man with the Golden Bun to be his 'Zine girlfriend? Not to my knowledge.

PINK SOCK Will this get on the first page? Well, it looks pretty much like it, doesn't it?

DEAR WLW

Please can you print this message on the weekend of 10/11 November as the 11th is my birthday and I want to read this on that weekend.

Also, can you draw me an 18th birthday cake on the screen? Please????

DrLozBaker

Missed it by a day! I'm soooo sorry...

BUT HEY, CHECK OUT THE CAKE!

MEGAZINE

The Devil finds work for idle hands. The other day, my hands were at a loose end. Instead of playing computer games and having thumb wars all day, I suggested they get down the Job Centre.

I was horrified to learn that on entry, my hands were immediately recruited by Satan to make toothpicks. Satan likes to eat baked beans with toothpicks.

Keep your hands occupied — or else!

Parsley Possum

I think you're overtired, Parsley —

THAT DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN, DID IT?

IF ZINERS WERE CHRISTMAS-RELATED THINGS...

Fluffy The Evil One

There are several that spring to mind

WHEN IT COMES TO STUFFING!

WLW

I have come to the conclusion that you must be a woman. You see, a woman would think it is extremely funny to confuse us for months about gender. A man would be forced by his testosterone-propelled ego to convince us that he is a big strong man, not a little woman.

Unless, of course, he was gay.

Are you gay, WLW? Or a woman? The choice is yours!

Angelic Entity

That's a choice, is it?

THANKS — THANKS A LOT

SEINFELD

I was watching the finale of Seinfeld the other night and I realised what a good comedy it is. It has all the ingredients — a short, balding stupid person; a fat, plotting nasty person; a wacky tall person; a female (need I say more?); the "cool" guy (Seinfeld) and a cool theme tune made from pinging an elastic band!

I thought: "How could they end a fabulous show like this?"

Obviously, quite easily.

Satan's Rubber Duck

It's excellent, isn't it?

KRAMER IS MOST DEFINITELY A 'ZINER

MY TOP FIVE SONGS

1. Dawn Chorus, The Birds
2. I Wish I Could Fly, Keith Harris & Orville
3. Wiggly Woo, The Worm, My four-year-old nephew (Captain Chickenhawk Jnr)
4. Take Me Home, Wings
5. Milhennium, Captain Chickenhawk Snr

T Birdman

Oh dear — a funny bird... like that's

JUST WHAT 'ZINE NEEDS RIGHT NOW

OOOOHHHH! MY HEAD HURTS!

I had a wee bit too much cider last night. I'm hungover, feeling rotten, am very smelly and my feet itch as well as stink.

My clothes are unkempt, my breath is ugly, and I'm also very sweaty.

Anyone fancy a date?

Dougie the Minesweeper

Sometimes you just get the urge and

YOU KNOW RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

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