The Mega-Zine Museum
November 11, 2001
PACKAGE Please put me on the front page, WLW. I am ever so lonely. You are my only friend. 'Tis done, poppet.
HUMMINGBIRD OF PREY So, WLW, how may soldiers in shrink-wrap do we have now? Well, I have 7... you have about 12, right? So, that would be 46. Roughly.
ZANDRA Question: If I were to write a thesis on sausages, would you print it? The odds are not good, but then, if it's a slow day...
WLW
I'm quite happy within my relationship and don't intend changing it ever. I was just upset for one of my best friends. I was giving the advice that her boyfriend should have followed.
I guess it's difficult to think when you're in situations like that though. I've found my little angel and love her to bits!
Could you draw a fairy for her?
Frank The Potato
Can't do a fairy, I'm afraid — hope she
ENJOYS THE ITALIAN FLAG INSTEAD
WHAT IS THE POINT OF MIST?
A fuzzy haze to block out the nightmare that the day beholds. Once you step in, there is no escape. It stops you knowing what you're about to tread in and to top it all, you end up with hair looking like a witch.
Is that what lingers around WLW towers? Are you a wizard? And we're under your spell?
The Scottish Sequin
It's jolly misty round the Towers —
EITHER THAT OR ME CHIPS ARE ON FIRE
DR NICK
I saw a picture of Dr Nick the other day! He's... older than I thought!
I mean, talk about old enough to be my grandad! I'd imagine he's probably married as well. This has left my life in a mess... what am I going to do now that I've realised he's too old for me?
Love really sucks!
Miss World
He may be old but he's
WORLDLY WISE — THAT'S WHAT COUNTS!
WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE GIRL...
I asked my mother, "What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?"... here's what she said to me:
"Shut up and go tidy your room".
Parents aren't very good at the whole destiny thing.
Spherical Cruton
True, but have you SEEN your room?
ANYTHING COULD BE HIDING IN THERE
KILTED ENGLISHMAN
I have the ultimate question for you... what are you, to whom I ascribed a degree of intelligence by dint of your being on 'Zine, doing watching Byker Grove?
That's the sort of show my Nike-wearing, Atlantic 252-listening, scally sister watches and calls "well mint". Are you a B*ckch*tter in disguise or something?
Sapphistication
It does make you wonder — I'm sure
IT WAS FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES
MY BIG CHANCE OF FAME
If I could write to Teletext,
I'd write something witty and smart.
Something that's fun and has never been done,
I just need to think of a start.
Oh, I can't think of anything.
Struggling Novelist Dave
Would you like B*ckch*t's address?
THEY REALLY WILL TAKE ANYTHING
FOR YOUR INTEREST
Sex: | Male |
Likes: | Kentucky Fried Chicken |
Dislikes: | Any KFC rip-off outlet |
Fave band: | Giant |
Fave deodorant: | Old Spice |
Fave hobbies: | Assuming the occasional yoga position and sleeping with my feet in the oven. |
Dougie the Minesweeper
Ladies — how can you resist? Junk food
AND OLD SPICE... IRRESISTABLE!