The Mega-Zine Museum
October 22, 2001
MS JANE LANE WLW, this year your birthday will fall on the night of a full moon. I owe this piece of knowledge to my terrific student diary. Thank you. I'm a better person.
COATHANGER THIEF No sense being pessimistic, it wouldn't work anyway. Don't see the point myself.
UNEDUCATED SHAMPOO Is it right to be madly in love with Sir Trevor McDonald? Oh no, it soooooooo isn't!
UNI!
Has anyone else found that their uni has been grifting them? I mean, there's been many a time I've had to question just where's my £1,075 going exactly.
It's all pay, pay, pay. Pay for books, for printing — can I have some fun now? "No, you must first open your pockets to the uni!"
Anyway, that's my rant for the day — back to reality...
Faded Genius.
It goes on stuff. Don't ask me what...
JUST 'STUFF', APPARENTLY
TOP TIPS TO PUT OFF UNSUITABLE 'SUITORS':
- Pick your nose.
- Talk non-stop about your various problems.
- Say you don't believe in washing yourself.
- Say you're a trainspotter.
- Discuss the reasons why there was a need for a 2nd law of thermodynamics.
Be careful with 5, it once turned nasty with me!
Shiny Shoe
I always find threatening to
CALL THE POLICE WORKS
COUNTDOWN
The 'Zine is the best! If I subtly pretend to be flicking onto Channel 4 at 4.15pm to view the pages of wonderment that are 'Zine, I can disguise the fact that what I really want to do is sing along to the Countdown theme tune!
You know the one — dada dada da da da da BOOOOM!
The Multicoloured Plectrum Eater
Surely you should be watching Countdown
AS A RUSE TO SWITCH TO 'ZINE, MISSY!
ABINGDON FAIR
The fair! The fair! I went to the fair yesterday and had fun, fun, fun! There was the usual bunch of townies and trendies laughing at me and my friends, but it was quite amusing really.
There was the usual "pap" music which wasn't as funny. Listening to Stuck In The Middle With You makes you feel a lot iller than the rides, I can tell you... but it was great anyway. The rides, the foodums, the lovely boys walking around everywhere...
The DimGirl (from the molehole)
The fair is soooo wasted on me —
NOT BIG ON SCARY RIDES, ME
THINGS TO DO IN HIGH WYCOMBE
- Sit in the graveyard
- Stand by McDonald's
- Sit by the pepper-pot thing
- Sit on a concrete ball in the high street
- Go to the chair museum
- Sit on the Rye
- Jump in the river
Jingle
So, basically, lots of sitting involved
IN HIGH WYCOMBE THEN?
'ZINE
Sometimes I wonder how the dishwasher works. I mean, surely it can't work like a washing machine, spinning the plates round? So, I decided that the plates must be cleaned by a tiny person, a dishwasher fairy if you will.
She (or he) will come out with her little brush and scrub really hard until all the dirt is removed from the plates, well almost all the dirt. There is always one bit of food left crusted on the edge. Stupid fairy!
She Who Lost The Plot
Don't talk to me about dishwasher
FAIRIES. NO, REALLY... DON'T!
PHENOMENON
I'm carrying out a survey to see if everybody has a recurring dream that they are falling down a hole... and then they suddenly wake up.
All the people I have asked say they have this phenomenon. Can I come and do some extensive research in that library of yours at WLW Towers?
Kilted Englishman
Library? We have a library? Davord?
OH, THE SECRET PASSAGE THING...
