The Mega-Zine Museum
June 4, 2001
CAT5187 If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live. I think I just did.
UNEDUCATED SHAMPOO Jamie Oliver or Celine Dion... so many possibilities, yet so little time. Are we talking about the real Jamie here or L'Enfant Terrible?
FLicKeR You know you've made it when someone impersonates you on Stars In Their Eyes. I'm still waiting.
BIRDIES
Looking out of my bedroom window, it occurred to me that birdies don't get stung when they go in nettles. Why? How?
When I was five, my neighbour threw me in nettles and it hurt! Why don't birds get hurt?
Black Widow
Don't beat yourself up over it —
IT'S A FEATHERS THING
IF 'ZINERS WERE NUMBERS
| WLW: | 69724690 (just some random number, like WLW — so random) |
| Savage Cabbage: | 999 (he's so sweet, so 999 for the emergency service, 'cos he's always there to help!) |
| Parsley Possum: | 18 (because thats my favourite number and he's my favourite 'Ziner). |
And talking about numbers, how about it, Parsley — do you want mine?!)
Telescope The Vail In Brum
Oi! We'll have none of that here —
THIS IS A RESPECTABLE NEIGHBOURHOOD
THE LETTER B
It's come to my attention that the letter 'b' is not used enough! I believe all letters should be treated equally. Here are some great words that begin with 'b': bed, breakfast, Blur.
I also think the letter 'e' gets a bit too much attention. To ensure all letters are treated equally, I shall replace 'e' with 'b' for the rest of this letter.
Plbasb print this lbttbr. I find this topic quitb upsbtting.
Thb Rbincarnatbd Squirrbl Batbr
Okby Dokby — lbt's usb morb 'b's...
IN THE FUTURB
IF MY CLOTHES WERE 'ZINERS
| WLW: | Wonderbra (good for support) |
| She Who Lost The Plot: | Strappy black dress (my favourite) |
| Little Kismet: | Suspenders (very sexy) |
| Parsley Possum: | High heels (nice but quite deadly) |
Savage Cabbage
Suddenly, I've gone
RIGHT OFF ME LUNCH!
'ZINERS
Daytime television tends to impregnate my brain. The current topic of popularity seems to be the general election.
One thing that annoys me is how people hurl endless abuse at the party leaders, which obviously suggests they do not like that particular party.
Would their efforts not be better spent trying to get the party that they do support to think about the issues that they want discussed? Silly people.
Frank The Potato
Well, you'd think so, yes...
BUT PEOPLE IS STRANGE
DEAR FELLOW SHOPLIFTERS
I am round
Trees are round
Clouds are round
We have no angles
And we are happy
On the other hand, my favourite shape is the cuboid. A cuboid is cute, whatever the weather.
Bob Bob The Bob
You know, alcopops
HAVE A LOT TO ANSWER FOR
'ZINERS
Bored as I was today, I decided to have a good laugh and read B*ckch*t. I came across a letter you might all like to read...
"Do you know that people 'diss' this page on C4, page 142. It's called 'Zine and home to a small community of the most insane people in the country. Simon".
I really can't decide if I want to laugh, cry, scream or what...
Fish On The Line
All four, I say... depending on
HOW FORGIVING WE FEEL AT THE TIME
