The Mega-Zine Museum
June 14, 2001
THE ONE WITH LITTLE SIGNIFICANCE If only I was a tree, life would be so much easier. Not necessarily — just ask Lonely Pink from the Forest of Misery.
SECLUDED RAINBOW Last night I dreamt about cut price Hula Hoops... it makes you think doesn't it? Well... no.
MUFFIN OF THE MYSTICAL VARIETY Squirrels are evil... one attacked my cat! It did? Well a journo here swears he saw a squirrel trying to bite a pensioner's foot on the Fulham Road.
WLW
You cannot imagine the trouble I get into when I write to people on Mates, professing to be into Garbage.
It turns out I haven't read the screen properly and they're actually into Garage, the root of all evil.
Damn my optician!
The Vegetarian Vampire
Garbage — yes indeed,
WHAT'S MR MANSON UP TO THESE DAYS?
HULLO WLW, HULLO ALL
Right, now mum and dad have shown me how this e-mail and internet thing works, I thought I should drop you a line to tell you to BEWARE... there's a new evil one in town!
So you can all expect to hear more from me.
Can I say hullo to my mum and dad, Broccoli and Fluffy.
Woo-hoo mum, dad, I'm on TV — aren't you proud of your little evil one?
Fred The Evil One
Oh Lordy... can't you lot
KEEP HIM UNDER CONTROL?
HI
Lets clear this up once and for all. WLW is male!
- His voice is distinctly masculine.
- When you send a letter, he amends all the grammatical errors. A woman wouldn't know what these are!
- I'm not really sexist. I just wanted to point out how clever WLW is with his English!
The Man With The Golden Bun
Naughty, naughty Bun!
THERE'LL BE LETTERS YOU KNOW!
SILVAN DRACONIS
Did you go to my school? The stereotypical teachers are at my old school in force.
The hippy art teacher arrived when the other one had a nervous breakdown (no, really) and tried to be nice about my 'art' — "everyone is an artist, you are an abstract artist".
I'm mentally damaged to this day. Down with teachers!
Black Widow
My art teacher was Grizzly Adams —
AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD ME
TYPICAL LETTER TO B*CKCH*T
Does anyone have any information on (insert young male movie star's name here)? I have just seen him in (insert name of film here) and I want to contact him because he will definitely want to meet me.
I am such an ardent follower of his. He probably even wants to marry me.
Chris the Cocksure Dimbo
I trust you've been studying B*ckch*t
IN THE NAME OF RESEARCH ONLY...
