The Mega-Zine Museum
June 1—2, 2001
THE ONE WITH LITTLE SIGNIFICANCE No-one understands me, I understand no-one. What a coincidence. Bizarre innit?
CAT5187 Beware you do not lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. Okily dokily, neighbour.
SIR WHENCE PITCHFORK Although it's hard to imagine Wimbledon being more boring than it already is, imagine in the days before TV, when it was broadcast on radio! Loses a little in translation, I agree.
WLW
When I talk about my cat, it's not really my cat I'm referring to — just the family cat in general.
I did have my own cat. She was beautiful, big and fluffy. She used to sit on my lap and purr for hours! Then one day, she disappeared and I haven't seen her since!
Come home, Muffy, please come home! I miss you!
Miss World
Muffy... rings a bell... Mavis?
YER NEW MATE — HER NAME MUFFY?
PARSLEY
This disturbs me, it really does. I actually agree with something he said. Give rights to chickens and waffle farmers.
This election, I'm thinking of voting Grumpist. Heaven help us.
Someone, get your manifesto in now. Please!
Black Widow
A vote for Grumpist is a vote for
COMMON SENSE AND GENERAL SURLINESS
ZINER DICTIONARY
We all have our moments of class and now, I think I have had mine.
I read the 'Zine day after day, and I have decided to make a Zinerary! Yes, I'm going to list every person on the 'Zine. And believe me, there are loads!
Actually, I've decided that this isn't a good idea really. Anyone want to own it?
Yellow Jello
Yes, send me a copy...
I'M HOPELESS WITH NAMES
CHEER UP, MIGHT NEVER HAPPEN
Who do these people think they are, telling me to smile? My natural facial expression doesn't have the edges of my mouth stretching from ear to ear. Does that mean I am depressed? OK, I am a little but these people coming along and telling me to smile doesn't help matters.
"Cheer up, it might never happen"? I think it just did.
Chris the Cocksure Dingo
That's a saying I really, REALLY hate —
AND 'WORSE THINGS HAPPEN AT SEA'!
I IS BACK!
Hey, everyone, I haven't written for a while — missed me, WLW? None of you probably remember me apart from Miss McPhisto (where are you, by the way?)
My last couple of letters didn't get screened so, WLW, you are in my bad books. But I'll let you off if you buy the new U2 single Elevation.
One love, one life.
Angel of Harlem
If I buy the new U2 single?
THE ODDS ARE NOT GOOD, LOVE
SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT
You are soooooo wrong about laundry baskets not having any comic potential! Surely you must agree that it has to have a sense of humour to be able to make half your socks vanish, and don't forget the one that was in Trap Door.
Did someone mention Dangermouse? Wasn't he the one-letter-wonder gay chap who fancied Fluffy?
"Oh Crumbs" said Penfold.
Savage Cabbage
He was, wasn't he?
WHERE'D HE GO? FLUFFY???
WLW
At the moment, there is a teddy in my room in desperate need of some stitching. The good news is that, if you print this letter, every time this page is accessed, I promise I will donate five whole stitches to the 'Save Teddy' concern.
So please, remember, his future is in your hands... not that I want to pressure you or anything.
Dissimulation
Heaven forbid I should feel pressured!
GIVE TED A STITCH FOR ME
