The Mega-Zine Museum

May 28, 2001

PEBBLES If you tolerate this, B*c*ch*t will be next! I think not, matey.

SILVAN DRACONIS Funniest sight during tourist season so far: a scared pigeon twatting some bloke in the face with it's wing. Guess my mate shouldn't have fed it that doughnut. Too much sugar?

GABRIELLA Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. Altogether now... aaaaahhhhhhh (pass that bucket, Davord).

A COUPLE OF THOUGHTS

The white horse you see in the park could be a zebra synchronised with the railings.

Also, money is better then poverty, if only for financial reasons.

The Vegetarian Vampire

Sometimes I wonder

WHERE WE'D BE WITHOUT YOU

BAD DAY

Today has been a bad day
I feel like I'm losing my mind
It's taking me to places
I don't want to be
Will I be better tomorrow?
I don't know
But if my mind doesn't change soon
I don't know what I'll do

Bob Bob The Bob

Don't worry. I lost mine years ago —

AND LOOK AT ME! ACTUALLY...

'ZINERS

Recently I was called an idiot by Parsley Possum. Have to tell you, I've been called worse.

Also I find it hard to take criticism seriously from a Bon Jovi fan.

Possum, I fear that you have become like the Geri Halliwell of Zine... to begin with, mildly amusing in a cheap kind of way, but now just annoying and always there.

Whiskey Butcher

Parsley as Geri Halliwell — there's a

STARS IN THEIR EYES WE DON'T WANT!

GERI — EVIL PEROXIDE BLONDE

Geri Halliwell terrifies me. What with her new figure (way too scrawny) and terrible cover of It's Raining Men, she's just TOOOO MUCH.

Also, everyone seems to be going on about how she's ruined the Weather Girls' version, but what was so great anyway? I don't understand!

Now she's making me hyperventilate with confusion...

The DimGirl (from the molehole)

OK OK —

ENOUGH WITH THE GERI STUFF, PEOPLE

DEAR 'ZINERS

Parsley Possum is clearly a middle-class white boy with adolescent issues, who thinks that his word is law. Well, he's wrong. MY word is law. Well, until Radiohead release their new album, anyway.

By the way, WLW, is there any chocolate you don't like? Not even Flyte?

Socialist Guerilla

'Fraid not. I have even eaten a Flyte

AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE

FLUFFY

OK, your first single can be by Pearl Jam, but I've also secured a deal for you to sing Jinx by Green Day and Grape by Sunna. I may even be able to get you a gig at the Rock Cafe in Stourbridge — if you're good!

As I've done all this, I think I'll re-negotiate my wages... 25% and there will still be oodles of money for you to pamper Broccoli and Baby with.

Black Widow

Oodles of money? How much they paying

AT THE ROCK CAFE IN STOURBRIDGE?

IF 'ZINERS WERE FOOTBALL TEAMS:

Parsley Possum

Olivio advert? You are soooooo wrong!

I CAN PLAY A BIT, YOU KNOW!

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