The Mega-Zine Museum
January 17, 2001
THE PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM I made my very own Zippy! And all I needed was a blue Biro and a pistachio nut! Weirdo.
MISS TRISTESSE Stop the criminal DFS adverts. They must end... NOW! As indeed their sale, apparently.
FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE The Manics and Placebo are embarrassments to the word "music". Just like Gutless Wonder is an embarrassment to the 'Zine. Now, now, just because of her love for the Lardy One. Whatever floats yer boat, I say.
WLW
Apparently Walsall has been voted the ugliest town in the world in an American magazine. It's pretty cool that we've been noticed for something!
The Beautiful Stone Hippo In Walsall
PS: Fluffy The Evil One — your letter is on its way.
Crikey — just how bad can it be?
I'VE SEEN SOME DUMPS IN MY TIME!
PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM
You and R S Thomas are equally talented. Oh sorry, what am I on about? R S Thomas indeed!
What I meant to say was that you and the author of the Spot The Dog books are equally talented. In fact, a three-year-old is less likely to be taxed by your comments.
The Gutless Wonder
What about 'Spot Does Quantum Physics'?
THAT ONE WAS QUITE TAXING
'ZINE
I don't care if Monday's blue,
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too,
Thursday I don't care about you,
it's Friday I'm in love.
I don't care if Monday's black,
Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack,
Thursday there's no looking back,
it's Friday I'm in love.
Broken Bubbles
Thank you for that — that song is just
THE BEST... MAKES ME SMILE
I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!
Keep your damn hands off him, OK? Who? Fluffy The (sexy) Evil One of course!
I want him and I'm prepared to fight to get him! I don't care if he's engaged to Broccoli or not, I could beat her ANY DAY!
So, go on, honey, bring it on — I dare you!
Twix McGoo
What's all this shouting?
WE'LL HAVE NO TROUBLE HERE!
HI WLW
Many moons ago, I mentioned the girl from Pennsylvania, with her menthol cigarettes, long dark hair and Nine Inch Nails fixation.
Well, we wrote, we e-mailed, friendship blossomed. Yet, I know it can go no further because:
- She loves Christian Bale
- I can't afford the air fare
- The chinchilla needs cleaning out.
Joe Slammer
1. Get plastic surgery 2. Get a job
3. GET A CAT... HOPE THIS HELPS
LISTEN AND LEARN!
When I was first born, I couldn't turn myself over. My eyes wouldn't focus. I couldn't do anything!
Think of all the work it took to develop the motor skills necessary to hold a crayon, to place the tip of it on a page and to move it in predetermined and coordinated motions!
This letter is the result of 16 years of unrelenting toil!
Selphie Strawberry
And I, for one, am very grateful. Now,
IF YOU COULD JUST LEARN TO WASH UP!
'ZINERS
I don't think that Davord is sticking his tongue out at all. I know for a fact what he's REALLY doing 'cos Norbia, God of Norbex, told me.
Davord is sometimes sucking his tentacles but, sometimes, sucking red peppers.
Mystery solved.
Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex
You don't wanna believe that Norbia —
FULL OF IT
