The Mega-Zine Museum
April 12, 2000
NEWT There are three types of people in this world — those who can count and those who can't. Wait a minute, that's only... oh, I get it... good one.
NAFF NYMPH The shame of it. I was forced to buy a copy of Vogue to find pictures for my art coursework. I'll never live it down. You're doing a course on vacant-looking blondes? Cool!
RIOT GRRL How can I call someone I see or hear of "weird", when I am weird and we are not the same? Well... you can't.
DEAR 'ZINERS,
Why are there so many trendies on the 'Zine nowadays? There is just no room for snobbery any more.
It always gave me a thrill when someone quoted song lyrics and I knew what they were and trendies didn't. No more, no more alas...
From the ever-intellectual and non-trendy,
Skinned Celebrity
No room for snobs either, they're just
TRENDIES WITH ATTITUDE!
A TALE OF WOE,
Yesterday the angry, red-faced leprechaun sang a gruff song about imaginary tigers to me. I was scared.
So I spat in his eye and ran away but collided with a green-suited trendy who pretended I wasn't real to avoid any small talk embarrassment.
This followed being savaged by a yappy, white marshmallow that ate my tights and nearly took off my hand.
It was a bad day, to say the least.
Deadly Blue Butterfly
And the moral of this story is...
NEVER TRAVEL BY TUBE LATE AT NIGHT
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
Dancing at the disco,
Bumper to bumper,
Wait a minute...
Where's my jumper?
Ha ha, I've got it!
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Yours doubtfully,
The Jumper Thief Princess
So it was you all the time?
THOUGHT I'D LEFT IT ON THE BUS
ONE OF THOSE DAYS,
This morning I just couldn't get up. There was just nothing at all that could inspire me to get up. I was all warm and snuggly and dreaming of my favourite 'Ziners and footy players.
Just when I was thinking to myself 'Is Sara Cox better than Zoe Ball?', my cat threw up, it started to rain and Miss Cox played that dreadful Craig David thing.
It must be Monday...
Pink Mafia
Dreadful? You're not kidding!
BUT IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN 'ZINELAND
