The Mega-Zine Museum
February 23, 1999
RANDOM GULP Does anyone else eat uncooked spaghetti? I hope I'm not the only one. Er, hate to tell you this...
BLONDE BUT NOT DUMB What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff! Thank you for the so-called proof of your blondeness!
CUMMFLUX Je suis lafrasse! Pourquoi pas! J'espere que vous etes tres content! (Yeah, I did my 11+ French!)
TO YOU FROM ME
Someone once said: "Being different puts you in the company of saints and geniuses" (and 'Ziners).
OK, now for the flattery that'll get me everywhere: "I am great, ah yes..."
Oh sorry, I meant to say: "You are great White Line Warrior... you are different... like us and we luv ya."
The Star that fell to Earth (Without a Valentine's Day card and a sore bum)
Flattery will get you
EVERYWHERE!
The Clock Tower struck noon at around 12 and I downed the last of that strange liqueur from the filthy shot glass, returning it to the bartender to spit in and wipe with the same Indian Chief he uses to blow his nose.
Staggering outside I see a blurred version of Wild Bill and try to find the butt of my gun. Gurgling, I seem to have swallowed my tooth pick.
Bill comes to the rescue with his tongue. But it's not over yet...
Betty "Spaghetti" Western
This is unprintable —
WHOOPS!
A PLEA...
Oh how I love the way you can't put your clothes on properly, or comb your hair — or even have a decent shave.
How I love your holey trainers and the way you sit there, shaking. How I love the way you resemble a piece of broccoli... oh tell me, what am I to do? How can I make thou loveth me?
I need advice, someone help me please!
Split Banana, desperate and in love.
Never mind, here are some nice
MEN IN WHITE COATS TO HELP!
I DIDN'T COME HERE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE
Either WLW doesn't like me or you never check your e-mails. Even though I send in such pearls of wisdom that would amaze a goat with bunions you refuse to show them.
Added onto that, I can't wait for Red Dwarf 8. Yes, I've noticed that 'Zine is a haven for those with taste and many of you are accomplished Dwarfers.
Let's all say in unison... "He's a SMEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
Shade's Shadow
You're all alone, shipwrecked,
INCOMPETENT!
