The Mega-Zine Museum
October 1, 1998
PRINCESS LEIA'S HAIR Here's a thought. Mum and dad spent ages teaching me to walk and talk, then as soon as I get to school they tell me to sit down and shut up!!! Go and clean your room out!
NINJA HAMSTER For sale... Assorted neuroses, second hand, £50 the lot. Well and truly out of his gourd!
CYMRAEG Hmm, mahogany pancakes, hmm mahogany pancakes, hmm mahogany pancakes, hmm mahogany pan - OW! A splinter!!! I don't know about pancakes but you do waffle too much!!!
HOW LOW!
Have faith in the blue star. It's taking a long time getting here but have patience, it will arrive in British airspace come the Millennium.
It holds the answers to all our prayers the substance to fill and unite lonely souls and will play a pretty mean version of Polyethylene if you ask it nicely.
It's coming to save us from long slow suffocation!
Ickle Blobcreature
DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH!
DASHING OF INNOCENT PEBBLES
I am starting up a protest against walking on innocent pebbles. Why?...
- People walk on pebbles. Pebbles are worn down until there are none left.
- Instead, we walk on grass. Grass is worn down until there is none left.
- There is no grass to play sports on. With no entertainment people go mad and kill each other.
The human race will be extinct and all because we walk on pebbles!!!
The Magpie
LOST YOUR PEBB... MARBLES???
WALKMANS
The Walkman, a seemingly innocent portable machine. But I ask you does it walk? Is it a man? No, it's clear to me that there is something sinister going on, that these nasty objects mutate overnight into living creatures.
They then run about the house stealing sweets and hiding the remote control! Ruffians! Vagabonds! Rapscallions!
Becketts
BUY A DISCMAN THEN!!!
Ziners,
In true postmodernist style
I can't think of anything to write
so I'm going to be all surreal,
Cringy, cliched and trite.
I'll talk about my pet hedgehog
(Who's really uncle Pete)
His spines are sharp his wife's a carp
Sod it, this genre's for the elite.
Postmodern potnoodle
Ooh, you guys are sooo
HIGHBROW!
