The Mega-Zine Museum
September 23, 1998
AVERAGE TOAST FARMER I was going to write something witty, controversial, inspiring and beautiful. I changed my mind. Typical, get my hopes up...
THE ANARCHIC STRAWBERRY Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you. It doesn't? Well you learn something new every day.
TRISTAN OF SMEG Good lovin' needed bad, can anyone help??? Lonely... yes. Desperate... maybe. Tempted... no.
ALL 'ZINERS
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha etc.
You may have laughed at David Bowie's 70s haircuts, but now it's time I laughed at all of you (see 1st line).
How many 52 year-olds have written such brilliant songs that even Dario G can't ruin them? And yes, I know you all secretly bought it.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha etc.
Lady Stardust (feeling smug)
Was anyone around in the 70s?
APART FROM ME, THAT IS.
WAKE UP WORLD!
Dictionaries? Jam? Can no-one see the evil menace known as sandpaper?
Just think, hundreds of pieces of wood are being slowly rubbed to their doom every day.
I have made it my solemn duty to annihilate every last sand-encrusted scrap.
The Amazing Captain Fish
Personally
I LIKE A BIT OF A RUB DOWN
TO SEPHIROTH
Hoo-hoo deary me, you REALLY are asking for it, aren't you? You come waltzing into the 'Zine, like a great big waltzy thing, and proclaim dominance over us!
How dare you!?! You dictator! You fiend! I'll fight you, usurper, and I call upon The Beautiful One, Wild Bill Hiccup and all other 'Ziners to fight this foul spawn!
Begone, you rebel scum!
Spurros
Ahem... excuse me, but I thought
I WAS IN CHARGE AROUND HERE?
SOME THINGS TO THINK ABOUT...
Parents say "Eat your greens", yet if I started eating grass, drinking green paint and licking Sarah Green, I wouldn't be highly admired, would I?
Parents say "Brush your teeth", but if I borrowed a brush from a dustman and stuck it in my mouth, I wouldn't be highly admired, would I?
Parents say "Go to bed", but if I went to bed with a couple of models...
The Alternative Thinker (confused)
Parents - like teenagers - are a
STRANGE BREED
