The Mega-Zine Museum
May 29, 1998
DREAM AURA I ponder on whether the world around us exists when we're not looking? You need eyes in the back of your head these days.
THE MAD HATTER I've just watched Sooty with Rod, Jane and Freddy of Rainbow fame. We must start a campaign to bring them back. We can easily overthrow the Teletubbies. Mr Ben was top man though.
LADY LIBERTY Life does not exist and we are all really in staightjackets somewhere screaming. The long winter nights must just fly by in your house.
DEAR 'ZINE
A few weeks ago I was playing rugby with some male friends when they broke both my arms to stop me scoring a try.
Rather than make a fuss I just carried on and scored. This proves that girls can play rugby, and are just as hard as boys.
As for the male-only war hormone, I'm going to join the RAF and become a jet fighter pilot!
Pilot Hardnut
You scored a try with two broken arms?
JONAH LOMU EAT YOUR HEART OUT
DEAR 'ZINERS
Help! I am totally baffled and obsessed by the following:
- Why do vicars have bad breath?
- Why do tights always rip the first time you wear them?
- Why does 'no.' mean number when there is no 'o' in the word?
- Why am I writing this when I should be revising for my GCSEs?
Has anybody got the answers?
The Lass Who Hates Rebecca Nahid
Bring on a GCSE in pointless questions.
YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO REVISE
TO EVERYONE
I've worked out where all the world's Biros and missing things are. They have been stolen by the Invisible Man.
He creeps around and steals any odd socks and blank tapes you only put down just five minutes ago whenever your back is turned.
And he sells it all in his second-hand shop and makes lots of money.
Roadrunner
He makes money from a second-hand shop?
IT MUST BE EASIER TO FIND THAN HIM
HELLO 'ZINERS AND WLW
Goblins? pah! Fairies? please! Pixies? don't make me laugh! The ones to believe in are the elves.
When did you last see an elf dropping litter? Or writing something obscene on a toilet wall? Or even picking their nose and flicking it?
I think you get my drift.
The Girl Who Drives The Ponty Pandy Bus
I often see them at the hospital though
ON THE NATIONAL ELF SERVICE
