The Mega-Zine Museum
March 4, 1998
FAY I have a perception of flower, everywhere flowers. The scent of flowers in the living room, outside. Is this a premonition I am going to die? No, it's a sign of impending bloom.
GENERATION TERRORIST Hidden tracks? Try Green Day's "All By Myself" on "Dookie", the funny thingy at the end of Kenickie's "At The Club". Hidden?
MACHINEHEAD I have a friend who just cannot get a coin to flip. He can't make head nor tail of the problem! He's had one too many down the Queen's Head!
A MOVING ODE TO PLUCK AT THE HEART STRINGS OF FISH LOVERS EVERYWHERE
Once I was a little fish
Swimming in the sea,
But then some men in huge big boats
Came chasing after me.
They knocked me out and chopped me up
Although I was quite slipp'ry
And now I sit next to a doner kebab,
In the middle of a chippy.
Phantom Fishcake
I don't wanna rub salt in the wound but
A KEBAB DONER'S NOT GOING TO HELP!
WLW
I still haven't forgotten the time you printed that forgery letter about me having a vision while drowning. I'm an atheist, by haddock!
And I'm a National Level competitive swimmer! You can check if you like. My amateur swimming association registration number is STEVKM00130282.
So there. It wasn't meeeee! Get it sorted!
The Quantum Sheep - ba ba Quantum Sheep, have you any wool? No sir, no Sir, please contact our stockists.
An atheist (what the kipper?) you may be
BUT YOU'RE NOT JUST A NUMBER, REG!
'ZINERS
I would like to rid the world of the horrible things called Hormones.
Just think, without them there would be no need for boy-bands or Page 3 Girls for teens to fantasise over. But worst of all there would be no PMT queen Rebecca Nahid, have you noticed how her letters are monthly or whenever people have stopped writing about her!
There is though a fatal flaw with my plan, for if there were no hormones, there would be no births. Shame that.
The Girl who inflated the world
PMT - Petty Meaningless Tantrums? She's
JUST GOING THROUGH A FUNNY PERIOD!
'ZINE
A few important questions for 'Ziners nationwide:
- Am I the only person who is pant-pooingly scared of clowns?
- Does WLW write all the letters him/her/itself, 'cos he/she/it never prints any of mine.
- Bill Bailey and Antony Worrall-Thompson — separated at birth?
Viurik the midget
It's scarred you for life perhaps,
IT'S NEVER BO-BO BOTHERED ME! HA HA
